Joining us for Anatomy of the Male Mind today is Tanner G. He’s 24, was born in Oklahoma City, but grew up in Austin, Texas. He’s currently a graduate student and an entrepreneur (internet retailing along with part ownership in a bar).
Kelsey: Tanner, thanks for taking the time to talk with us at Romance University. Would you give us a sense of how you see yourself?
Tanner: A free-spirit, confident, student-of-life (always learning about people, places, cultures, etc.)
Kelsey: Let’s talk about women…What first attracts you to a woman physically? What other, non-physical, traits attract you?
Tanner: No one specific thing attracts me. To me, different women are physically attractive for different reasons. For example, I won’t be turned-off by a woman because she doesn’t have a specific color of hair or eyes. I tend to look at the whole package. I’ve had some form of relationship (dating, physical, etc.) with a wide variety of women as far as hair color, eye color, race, height, chest size, butt size, etc. A lot of guys will say they are butt-guys, breast-guys, leg-guys, etc, but I don’t understand that.
As far as non-physical traits…these are more important than the physical traits. A woman has to have confidence and be happy in her own skin. I like women who are mature, but know how to let loose and have fun. Also, she should have a good sense of humor, and not take herself too seriously. Insecurity, jealousy, and negativity are the biggest turn-offs for me.
I like the stereotypical “old-school” type of woman who wants to take care of me (cook for me, clean my place, do my laundry, etc.), but at the same time I want someone confident and independent enough not to rely on me for everything. I don’t want to feel smothered. I want her to be able to have her own life and be comfortable with it.
Kelsey: Do you believe in true love? Why or why not?
Tanner: That depends on what your definition of true love is…I absolutely believe that two people can fall in love with each other, and happily spend every day of the rest of their lives together. But I also think that you can love more than one person in your lifetime, and I think you can be in love with more than one person at the same time. My opinion is that it’s difficult, if not impossible, to prove one is truer than the other.
Kelsey: Have you ever been in love?
Tanner: Again, depends on the definition…I would say that I have had a deep, emotional connection with one woman. I wasn’t prepared to completely give myself away to her for personal beliefs/reasons, but I could definitely make an argument that I was in love with her.
Kelsey: At your age, are you in the market for “the one woman?” Why or why not?
Tanner: Absolutely not. I still enjoy meeting, hanging-out with, and dating different women. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m too selfish and not mature enough (from a relationship standpoint) at this point in my life to be with “the one woman”. Getting into anything too serious at this point in my life would be unfair to me and the woman. I’m not ready to make the sacrifices necessary to have a serious, healthy relationship.
Kelsey: Do you think men care about romance? Or is romance merely a conduit to sex?
Tanner: I think men genuinely care about making women happy, regardless of the sex issue. I think men’s and women’s ideas of romance are different-maybe the reason why women don’t think men are romantic, but just want sex. Guys don’t think like women, we think like guys. Women tend to forget that simple fact.
Kelsey: Do you read for pleasure? If so, what genre(s) do you prefer and when reading a novel, do you enjoy reading a love scene?
Tanner: I typically read informative books – biographies, autobiographies, culture/travel, and business. Otherwise, I don’t really have a specific genre that I stick to…just anything that catches my attention.
I can’t actually recall if I have ever read a love scene (shows how much impact it had on me)…I guess I would enjoy it if it brought something to the story.
Kelsey: What was the last book you read?
Tanner: The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino. My two favorite books are The Power of One and Tandia, both by Bryce Courtenay.
Tanner, we appreciate your taking time to share your thoughts on women, romance and sex with the RU readers!
RU Readers, Ethan and Tanner had a bit different outlook on love and romance. Who do you think is the more “typical” man?
Please join Adrienne and Cathie Linz on Friday for a great discussion of Characterization through Dialogue.
Carrie Spencer, writing romantic comedy and goofy middle-grade, personifies her alter-ego - 
Hi Tanner,
Thanks for blogging with us at RU. I’ve heard the statement that men and women don’t think of romance, relationships, etc. in the same way and I understand how this could be true. But what I don’t undstand is what men actually think about romance, relationships. In other words, HOW is men’s thinking different? I’ve never seen the answer – only that it is.
Thanks, Tracey
Posted by Tracey Devlyn | June 24, 2009, 5:30 amSo sorry for the late responses!!! I’ll keep checking the next few days to answer more questions since I was so late with my responses today.
Alright, let’s see if i can answer everyones questions…
Well you can’t generalize about what all men think about romance, relationships, etc., but I actually think men and women view romance similarly.
Personally, I see romance as a way to show a woman how much I appreciate her. But it’s a catch-22 situation because I don’t want to be overly romantic and give them false hopes of my future intentions (since I’m not looking for anything serious right now).
This is a generalization, but I think women view relationships as the step before marriage while men just view it is their current situation (without much thought for the future).
Posted by Tanner | June 24, 2009, 9:56 pmTanner –
If you haven’t already, you might take a look at Ethan’s post from June 3rd. Do you feel your perspective or Ethan’s perspective on relationships is more typical of a man your age? And why?
Thanks for being here!
Kelsey
PS – as a note to our readers, I’m unsure which time zone Tanner is in currently so be patient with his responses to comments!
Posted by KelseyBrowning | June 24, 2009, 7:04 amI think my perspective is more typical of a man my age. I think it’s because men are just genetically wired to settle down at a later age than women. Also, I think my generation is getting more experimental about their emotional and physical relationships.
Posted by Tanner | June 24, 2009, 10:00 pmHi, Tanner.
My question is nearly identical to Tracy’s. Since men and women have different ideas of romance, what’s your idea? What would you do to romance a woman you like? What would you want her to do to romance you?
Thanks!
Jamie
Posted by Jamie | June 24, 2009, 7:43 amSee Tracy’s post for first question.
To romance a woman I like…
well it depends on what she likes. i try to stray away from the traditional “restaurant and a movie.” i like to cook, so i usually cook a good, homemade meal. im also a very active person, and i tend date active girls, so ill try to incorporate something physical (not sexual haha) and give it a romantic twist. I tend to incorporate romance with fun, so ill try anything that gets her smiling.
Her romancing me…
i, along with most men i assume, am pretty easy to please. anything that shows me that she’s put thought and care into i appreciate, whether it be cooking for me at home, getting all dolled up and taking me out…whatever. I’ll try to think of more specific ways for her to romance me if that is what you are looking for.
Posted by Tanner | June 24, 2009, 10:14 pmHi Tanner. Thanks for being with us and giving such honest answers. I have heard a couple of men say when they meet a woman they immediately check her out physically. One guy put it bluntly by saying if he walked across a room to meet a woman it wasn’t because he knew she was smart and wanted to talk to her. His point was that most men, at first, just want the sex. That cracked me up. Would you agree with him?
Posted by Adrienne Giordano | June 24, 2009, 11:09 amI don’t agree about the sex part, but I absolutely agree about checking out the woman’s physique. Men are visually stimulated (just like women), and that’s why they are always getting in trouble by their s/o for wandering eyes haha. I just think it’s in our nature to look at pretty women!
Posted by Tanner | June 24, 2009, 10:18 pmHi Tanner!
Thanks for being here, it was great reading your article. Very interesting! Your choice of reading material is quite fascinating for a man of your age…at least I think so compared to what my son reads! Have you always been a reader? What inspired you to read these types of stories?
carrie
Posted by carrie | June 24, 2009, 4:23 pmI travel a lot (have been to almost 30 countries already!), so I am fascinated by people, places, cultures, etc. I am also addicted to extraordinary people and businesses, and the qualities that make them extraordinary.
I wouldn’t call myself a bookworm or anything, but I definitely make it a point to read something that catches my interest.
Posted by Tanner | June 24, 2009, 10:22 pmCarrie – Email me at Kelsey@KelseyBrowning.com when you get a chance. You won Lois’ book from a few days ago!
Posted by KelseyBrowning | June 25, 2009, 9:49 amHey Tanner — I love the fact that you enjoy being taken care of by the women in your life and don’t want any serious attachment…….. interested in a cougar??
Posted by Demi | June 24, 2009, 7:42 pmhahaha maybe! i just have one question demi…is your last name moore?
Posted by Tanner | June 24, 2009, 10:24 pmGood one, Tanner!
Posted by Adrienne Giordano | June 25, 2009, 8:22 amYou wish, Tanner!
Thanks for stopping by to respond to questions!
K-
Posted by KelseyBrowning | June 25, 2009, 9:34 amA guy can always wish…………
Posted by Wes Redfield | June 25, 2009, 10:03 am