Perfectly Happy as a Man
If you’re like me, you’ve occasionally wondered what men really want out of life. Success? Money? Happiness? A less-filling light beer? Today, each member of our Man Panel constructs his version of the perfect Man World. Chime in to discuss if their answers surprised, scared or scarred you!
Serving on today’s Man Panel are: Rob, age 38; Ethan, age 21; Jack, age 50-something; Trace, age 40.
Jack Russell kicks us off by stating: The perfect Man World? Thank god men weren’t given the power to create it. Let’s just say that in the “perfect” man world we would self-destruct by age thirty — um, make that twenty-five. It’s kind of the kid in the candy shop thing. So instead of creating the “perfect” man-world I’ll remain grounded in reality and share the “Best I Could Hope For” man world.
Car
Rob: SUV and sports car
Ethan: Truck. Done and done. And not a wimpy little Toyota truck that rides as tall as a Honda. A REAL truck. Currently I have an old half broken down Dodge Ram 1500 with 4 wheel drive for off-roading and I love it (minus the half broken down part…).
Jack: Limited edition of course; Fast; Black; Lots of chrome, real chrome not the plastic stuff; Bitchen stereo system; Leather appointments; and, electronic gadgets out-the-ass. And, did I mention fast?
Trace: One that has very clean lines, conforming interior, awesome sound system, class, sleek engineering, and lots of muscle. This car would have a body that is medium in size, adequate head room and seating for 4, and is very defined in its curves in its rear fenders, quarter panels and hood. Under the hood is lots of horse power and has a sound that is distinctive and specific to this car only. Gas mileage isn’t near as important as power and speed. Like a 2010 Camaro RS 2SS.
Food
Rob: Yes and a lot of it even better if we are going out for it
Ethan: Grilling my own steak outside in 74 degrees and sunny while sipping on a beer and listening to music full blast while watching football on a 72” plasma screen in HD. That would be heaven.
Jack: Pizza! Lunch or dinner and especially the day after for breakfast cold right from the refrigerator.
Trace: Is different depending on the occasion. It has to fit the environment and social group which it is being served. It will be accompanied by the perfect drink or it’s not the perfect food. Most of the time a hotter and spicier flavor is preferred over any other option. I prefer Mexican over any other choice most of the time with Tequila in some form.
Vacation
Rob: 3 a year
Ethan: I love to travel and experience different cultures. My favorite vacation though would be relaxing on a beach with a good book and a drink hearing the waves crash in the background.
Jack: Warm tropical location along the ocean with warm night breezes — the fewer the clothes the better and definitely no dress-up clothes packed in the suitcase; Bare feet or sandals; No crowds and no particular place you have to be. A few years ago my wife surprised me with a vacation to the quiet remote northwest shores of Maui. It was the best vacation I ever had.
Trace: Sun, ocean, sandy beach accompanied by a great book, iPod, and a cold drink of choice in my hand.
Pet
Rob: Take it or leave it…but if I take it, it would be a large dog
Ethan: I want a boxer so bad it’s not even funny. His name would be either Leonidas or Maximus.
Jack: There’s only one pet worth having and that’s a dog. I like real dogs with real dog names — not fluffy or precious, a dog that is loyal and protective of one master and only responds to the commands given by its owner. I’m going to go out on a limb here and state that unless you’re a man over the age of 70 living in Florida and wear black socks and dress shoes with Bermuda shorts, you shouldn’t have a dog that looks like a mutant rodent. I currently have a 70 pound boxer/husky mix dog named Brody who is definitely loyal and protective, but I have to admit needs some work on obeying commands.
Trace: A well trained dog.
Woman
Rob: Yes, someone easy on the eyes and fun to talk to…not high maintenance
Ethan: The perfect woman…I feel like this is a question I could get in trouble for answering…but the perfect woman, besides being beautiful (but not so much that every other guy is trying to steal her from you) would be able to cook FANTASTIC food, be able to throw a football, have intelligent conversations, be comfortable around my friends, not be scared to drink a beer instead of a mixed drink, know when to argue and when to concede, and not withhold…
Jack: Intelligent but never condescending; Reflective but never moody; Prioritizes my needs above hers; Is an energy giver not an energy drainer; Sleeps naked; Thinks I’m the most handsome and sexiest man alive or dead; and, quickly forgives me when I’ve made an ass out of myself. I’m actually deeply in love with and married to a beautiful woman who comes pretty damn close to my “perfect” woman — If I could only convince her to sleep naked.
Trace: One that is by my side at all times because she loves me and knows I love her. She is classy, educated, attractive, a little country as well as refined. She is funny, and a little naïve. She makes me want to be better each day.
Sport
Rob: Football and Softball / Baseball
Ethan: Football reigns supreme.
Jack: I’m a huge fan of mixed martial arts. And yes, I believe it is a sport. Its one-on-one competitive contact that requires athletic skill, tremendous conditioning, controlled aggression and a warrior’s heart. Any man who has been in a real fight at some point in his life knows what I’m talking about. I don’t like aggression in day to day life and believe intellectual discussion is the correct means to resolve conflict. But in a controlled setting with rules to prevent serious injury combat sports are true tests of one man’s ability to physically dominate another. Sorry ladies, it’s a man thing.
Trace: One that matches the mental aspect of the game with the physical requirements. Golf and baseball are two great examples.
Hobby
Rob: Driving my Sports car / SUV to the airport to go on vacation with a women take in a sport event and some good food in warm weather then hit the beach to get her in a bikini
Ethan: I enjoy reading a good book, especially the classics. Currently I’m reading the unabridged Oxford World Classic version of Count of Monte Cristo.
Jack: I’ll let you know when I settle on one, but archery is coming close to being my first hobby.
Trace: One that takes a little time and gives my mind and body a break from the demands of life and being a husband/dad. It’s something that I can do a regular basis.
Drink
Rob: VODKA
Ethan: Route 44 Dr. Pepper with extra Sonic ice – there is not a drink in this world more refreshing than that.
Jack: Full bodied red wines, but a cold beer on a hot summer day can be really, really good. Amstel Light is a good choice for beer.
Trace: Melon Rita. That equal parts Tequila, Watermelon Liquor, and Sweet and Sour.
Job
Rob: Not really into that but she should work…lol
Ethan: My dream job is to be a linguist and study the origins of development of languages and how they are interrelated. Oh yea, and have that actually pay money…which is why I’m pursuing my second choice – engineering.
Jack: If I had the ability to restart a career I’d be a dentist. I know what you’re thinking; a dentist doesn’t evoke an image of a mysterious, dark and handsome manly man or a powerful, wealthy world dominating man. But, right from the get-go they’re their own boss, set their own hours, make good money and — OK you’re right, I was kidding. My perfect man job, however, is a self-made business man billionaire making more money than I could ever spend. Don’t try to tell me that money can’t buy happiness. It can buy a lot of happiness. And, if I couldn’t be a self made billionaire, I would want to be a cowboy.
Trace: One that is in and out of the office. Making a difference in people’s lives and changing the world to a better place. Kind of like the one I have now without the corporate stuff that comes down with it.
Weekend
Rob: Sunday Football and Sauce with pasta and lots of garlic bread YUM!!!!
Ethan: My perfect weekend would involve sleeping in and making pancakes for breakfast, doing something outside (rock climbing, Frisbee, camping), a fancy date out at a nice restaurant and then going out to a play, watching Sunday football with the guys, and a good cigar. All of that in one weekend would make up the perfect weekend.
Jack: Driving to an out-of-the-way location with my wife. I have the best time when we jump in the car and go for the day or overnight. We even have a ritual of making our first stop Starbucks for coffee and McDonald’s for egg McMuffins. We’ll drive to a Historic town and walk through the local shops or drive to a state forest and hike the trails.
Trace: Full of friends, food, live music and dancing. Lots of down time for cooking accompanied by a beverage of choice and finished off with night life on the dance floor, enjoying each other’s company and having fun.
Sexual Position
Rob: What ever gets you off …then try what she likes
Ethan: Reverse cowgirl. ’Nuff said.
Jack: Whichever one is working at the time. And, sometimes more than one at the same time.
Trace: If we are hot and passionate, stooped doggy dog. Slow and intimate, missionary with my body weight resting on top of her, her legs wrapped around me.
RUers, did our Man Panel’s perfect Man World surprise you? If so, why? Did you learn something new about men’s deepest desires? Members of our Man Panel might stop by on and off today so feel free to toss out questions!
Don’t forget to join us Friday when Theresa Stevens discusses passive and literary writing!
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RU Crew, I hope you have as much fun reading this post as I did creating the questions and compiling the answers!
Thanks to our fantastic Man Panel! We hope Trace, our newest addition, will visit RU again.
Kelsey
Fabulous post, Kelsey! Guys, thanks for playing.
I don’t know why, but Tim Allen and his primate call kept entering my mind as I read this post.
Thanks again,
Tracey
It’s great reading about the male mind! I especially like that you listed their ages.
I loved Jack’s dream job–a self-made billionaire–then his follow-up. If he couldn’t be that, he’d choose being a cowboy. There’s a sense of male power in both choices.
Thanks Guys!
Sheila
How much do I love our Man Panel, let me count the ways. You guys never fail to entertain.
Should I be frightened that none of their answers shocked me? No offense guys, but men are fairly simple people. They don’t obsess like we women do. LOL.
Jack, here’s to hoping your wife sleeps naked for you. Rob, your wife will be happy to know she is your perfect woman. Although, you’ve probably told her that already. Haven’t you?
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
lol…i agree with Tracey….same Tim Allen call in my head too…
great post guys, entertaining reading! =)
Happy Thanksgiving all!
carrie
Thanks Kelsey, Tracey and Adrienne for including me in your panel. I enjoyed reading the other panel members’ answers. Some interesting similarities and differences. I wish all of you a great Thanksgiving filled with endless football games, food, beer and favorite sexual positions.
Best Regards,
Jack
I’ll stick with the food! LOL.
Hi Guys,
Thanks. Very informative. I think I might try some of your ideas on hubby. If he is up for it?????
Great stuff, gentlemen. Very informative and fun. Have a great Thanksgiving!