Comments on: The Flame & the Family: How to Keep Passion Alive in a Busy Married Life http://romanceuniversity.org/2010/01/20/the-flame-the-family-how-to-keep-passion-alive-in-a-busy-married-life/ Wed, 08 Feb 2012 23:20:41 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: KelseyBrowning http://romanceuniversity.org/2010/01/20/the-flame-the-family-how-to-keep-passion-alive-in-a-busy-married-life/comment-page-1/#comment-3300 KelseyBrowning Wed, 27 Jan 2010 05:33:32 +0000 http://romanceuniversity.org/?p=2424#comment-3300 Stu - Thanks for stopping by. I took a look at your site yesterday, but was interrupted before I could make a comment (imagine that!). What you say makes lots of sense in that we need to consider affection from our significant other's point-of-view. I think many guys wouldn't understand that taking out the trash can help him get lucky :), but it's true. The innocent touch thing is powerful, too. As for women showing their affection through sex when they may not totally feel like it. I don't disagree, but I think both partners need to understand the different between "absolutely don't feel like it" and "I could be persuaded." Probably there will be a lot more women in the "I could be persuaded" camp when her man does a few of those little things. And he needs to be okay with that session being short, sweet, and to the point. If she says, "This is for you" and means it, I say enjoy it, appreciate it and then let her get back to the laundry - LOL. Hope you'll stop by to see us again, Stu. And thanks again, Dustin! Kelsey Stu -

Thanks for stopping by. I took a look at your site yesterday, but was interrupted before I could make a comment (imagine that!).

What you say makes lots of sense in that we need to consider affection from our significant other’s point-of-view. I think many guys wouldn’t understand that taking out the trash can help him get lucky :) , but it’s true. The innocent touch thing is powerful, too.

As for women showing their affection through sex when they may not totally feel like it. I don’t disagree, but I think both partners need to understand the different between “absolutely don’t feel like it” and “I could be persuaded.” Probably there will be a lot more women in the “I could be persuaded” camp when her man does a few of those little things. And he needs to be okay with that session being short, sweet, and to the point. If she says, “This is for you” and means it, I say enjoy it, appreciate it and then let her get back to the laundry – LOL.

Hope you’ll stop by to see us again, Stu.

And thanks again, Dustin!

Kelsey

]]> By: Do we know how to love? http://romanceuniversity.org/2010/01/20/the-flame-the-family-how-to-keep-passion-alive-in-a-busy-married-life/comment-page-1/#comment-3294 Do we know how to love? Tue, 26 Jan 2010 16:38:07 +0000 http://romanceuniversity.org/?p=2424#comment-3294 [...] was a great post over at Romance University (a site I had not been to before) by my friend Dustin at Engaged [...] [...] was a great post over at Romance University (a site I had not been to before) by my friend Dustin at Engaged [...]

]]> By: Dustin | Engaged Marriage http://romanceuniversity.org/2010/01/20/the-flame-the-family-how-to-keep-passion-alive-in-a-busy-married-life/comment-page-1/#comment-3279 Dustin | Engaged Marriage Mon, 25 Jan 2010 16:02:46 +0000 http://romanceuniversity.org/?p=2424#comment-3279 I appreciate your willingness to share the tough times you are experiencing, fromthepanel. I think you offer us all a very important reminder of the importance of being proactive and taking the time/energy required to ensure that you don't lose your passion for one another. I can feel the pain in your words and know that you never intended for this to happen to your marriage. I'm very sorry. I appreciate your willingness to share the tough times you are experiencing, fromthepanel. I think you offer us all a very important reminder of the importance of being proactive and taking the time/energy required to ensure that you don’t lose your passion for one another. I can feel the pain in your words and know that you never intended for this to happen to your marriage. I’m very sorry.

]]> By: fromthepanel http://romanceuniversity.org/2010/01/20/the-flame-the-family-how-to-keep-passion-alive-in-a-busy-married-life/comment-page-1/#comment-3262 fromthepanel Sun, 24 Jan 2010 07:32:40 +0000 http://romanceuniversity.org/?p=2424#comment-3262 Speaking from the other side of the bed. Allow something to come between the two of you and eliminate this part of the marriage and bad things happen. Even without unfaithfulness, allowing this to slowly disolve from a marriage over time can be the death of it....no matter whats at risk. I speak from experience. I have 2 children that don't deserve the cards being handed them and there is nothing I can do to stop the divorce. There was a time when nothing was more than our happiness. And we were very happy. Spending time together wasn't an issue...no matter the cost. But as things can happen, unforgiveness, pain, and anger can harden the heart. When this happens the desire to dedicate that 15 minutes is gone and there is nothing Speaking from the other side of the bed. Allow something to come between the two of you and eliminate this part of the marriage and bad things happen. Even without unfaithfulness, allowing this to slowly disolve from a marriage over time can be the death of it….no matter whats at risk. I speak from experience. I have 2 children that don’t deserve the cards being handed them and there is nothing I can do to stop the divorce. There was a time when nothing was more than our happiness. And we were very happy. Spending time together wasn’t an issue…no matter the cost. But as things can happen, unforgiveness, pain, and anger can harden the heart. When this happens the desire to dedicate that 15 minutes is gone and there is nothing

]]> By: Dustin | Engaged Marriage http://romanceuniversity.org/2010/01/20/the-flame-the-family-how-to-keep-passion-alive-in-a-busy-married-life/comment-page-1/#comment-3211 Dustin | Engaged Marriage Fri, 22 Jan 2010 12:59:12 +0000 http://romanceuniversity.org/?p=2424#comment-3211 It's my pleasure, Darryl, and thank you for the kind words. It certainly does get tough to keep romance a priority when our lives get so busy. Trust me when I say I can totally relate! By the way, please feel free to come over to EngagedMarriage.com where there are a lot of us crazy-busy-married-folks-with-young-kids types. :smile: It’s my pleasure, Darryl, and thank you for the kind words. It certainly does get tough to keep romance a priority when our lives get so busy. Trust me when I say I can totally relate!

By the way, please feel free to come over to EngagedMarriage.com where there are a lot of us crazy-busy-married-folks-with-young-kids types. :smile:

]]> By: Darryl http://romanceuniversity.org/2010/01/20/the-flame-the-family-how-to-keep-passion-alive-in-a-busy-married-life/comment-page-1/#comment-3204 Darryl Fri, 22 Jan 2010 05:59:33 +0000 http://romanceuniversity.org/?p=2424#comment-3204 Very well expressed...if you would have told me three years ago that intimacy would be an issuefor my wife and I, I'd have thought you were insane...but with two small children running around and a few small businesses going, this part of our marriage certainly has suffered...thanks for the ideas... Very well expressed…if you would have told me three years ago that intimacy would be an issuefor my wife and I, I’d have thought you were insane…but with two small children running around and a few small businesses going, this part of our marriage certainly has suffered…thanks for the ideas…

]]> By: Dustin | Engaged Marriage http://romanceuniversity.org/2010/01/20/the-flame-the-family-how-to-keep-passion-alive-in-a-busy-married-life/comment-page-1/#comment-3203 Dustin | Engaged Marriage Fri, 22 Jan 2010 03:11:43 +0000 http://romanceuniversity.org/?p=2424#comment-3203 Hey Stu! Welcome to Romance University! I am new here also, but these ladies have welcomed me so openly it almost feels like home to me. :smile: I can't add anything to your comment except "Amen!" Dustin Hey Stu!

Welcome to Romance University! I am new here also, but these ladies have welcomed me so openly it almost feels like home to me. :smile:

I can’t add anything to your comment except “Amen!”

Dustin

]]> By: Stu @ The Marry Blogger http://romanceuniversity.org/2010/01/20/the-flame-the-family-how-to-keep-passion-alive-in-a-busy-married-life/comment-page-1/#comment-3202 Stu @ The Marry Blogger Fri, 22 Jan 2010 02:55:39 +0000 http://romanceuniversity.org/?p=2424#comment-3202 Great post Dustin - I have not been here to Romance University before today! I was reading thru the comments and was thinking about that paradox that was mentioned by Kelsey "men need sex to feel close to women while women need to feel close before they want to have sex. " My natural tendency is to want to show love how I like to be loved. But that is not how it is supposed to work - right? We need to love our mate how they need to be loved. If I would like to enjoy sex with my beautiful wife - I need to start loving her early in the day - connecting with her in conversation and innocent friendly touch. I need to serve her by taking out the trash (perhaps) without being told!! It starts much earlier than right before we hop in bed. I would assume that she too would learn to love me in the way I enjoy being loved. Which might mean having sex when she doesn't necessarily feel like it. Loving our mate the way they like and want to be loved is foreign to me - (and probably others) which makes that paradox such a big thing in marriages. Great post Dustin – I have not been here to Romance University before today!

I was reading thru the comments and was thinking about that paradox that was mentioned by Kelsey “men need sex to feel close to women while women need to feel close before they want to have sex. ”

My natural tendency is to want to show love how I like to be loved. But that is not how it is supposed to work – right? We need to love our mate how they need to be loved. If I would like to enjoy sex with my beautiful wife – I need to start loving her early in the day – connecting with her in conversation and innocent friendly touch. I need to serve her by taking out the trash (perhaps) without being told!! It starts much earlier than right before we hop in bed.

I would assume that she too would learn to love me in the way I enjoy being loved. Which might mean having sex when she doesn’t necessarily feel like it.

Loving our mate the way they like and want to be loved is foreign to me – (and probably others) which makes that paradox such a big thing in marriages.

]]> By: Dustin | Engaged Marriage http://romanceuniversity.org/2010/01/20/the-flame-the-family-how-to-keep-passion-alive-in-a-busy-married-life/comment-page-1/#comment-3199 Dustin | Engaged Marriage Thu, 21 Jan 2010 03:53:35 +0000 http://romanceuniversity.org/?p=2424#comment-3199 Sherry, Theology of the Body was a written work and passion of Pope John Paul II. It focuses on the uniqueness and complimentary nature of human sexuality (masculinity and femininity). Most people wouldn't believe that it was the work of a Pope...the Church is truly a very sexy institution! If you want to know more, the modern spokesman for this is a man named Christopher West. His website has a section devoted to "What is Theology of the Body?". Here's a link: http://www.christopherwest.com/page.asp?ContentID=121 I also have other info on sexuality and natural family planning (it's related) on my site as well. Thank you for your kind words and support! And I think your advice to D'Ann was excellent as well. Sherry,

Theology of the Body was a written work and passion of Pope John Paul II. It focuses on the uniqueness and complimentary nature of human sexuality (masculinity and femininity). Most people wouldn’t believe that it was the work of a Pope…the Church is truly a very sexy institution!

If you want to know more, the modern spokesman for this is a man named Christopher West. His website has a section devoted to “What is Theology of the Body?”. Here’s a link: http://www.christopherwest.com/page.asp?ContentID=121 I also have other info on sexuality and natural family planning (it’s related) on my site as well.

Thank you for your kind words and support!

And I think your advice to D’Ann was excellent as well.

]]> By: Sherry Weddle http://romanceuniversity.org/2010/01/20/the-flame-the-family-how-to-keep-passion-alive-in-a-busy-married-life/comment-page-1/#comment-3198 Sherry Weddle Thu, 21 Jan 2010 03:33:58 +0000 http://romanceuniversity.org/?p=2424#comment-3198 Dustin, Thank you for the compliment! Yes, a good marriage is work and we take our marriage seriously. We also surround ourselves with good friends who have the same ideals and principals. This is very important. When one couple might be struggling (and we all do struggle at times!!) the other couples are there to remind them what is really important. I am intrigued by your term, "Theology of the Body" and would love to learn about this. I clicked on a couple of links in your article above, and like that you mention writing love letters to each other. We learned to do this in Marriage Encounter, but in our courtship, in the mid 60's, Joe was in the Air Force and I was in college. We met, fell in love, then he got out of the Air Force and returned to his home state to go to school. We were apart for eleven months, and had no money for long distance phone calls (remember this was in the dark ages, no e-mail!) so we wrote letters 3, 4 sometimes 6 times a week. I still have my shoebox full of letters. There is something like the written letter, something you can read and reread. D'Ann, maybe you could write a simple note to your husband, leave by his place at the table, or somewhere he would see it when you are gone. Just tell him a quality he has that you appreciate, something that reminds you of why you picked him those 27 years ago. Sherry Dustin,
Thank you for the compliment! Yes, a good marriage is work and we take our marriage seriously. We also surround ourselves with good friends who have the same ideals and principals. This is very important. When one couple might be struggling (and we all do struggle at times!!) the other couples are there to remind them what is really important.
I am intrigued by your term, “Theology of the Body” and would love to learn about this.
I clicked on a couple of links in your article above, and like that you mention writing love letters to each other.
We learned to do this in Marriage Encounter, but in our courtship, in the mid 60′s, Joe was in the Air Force and I was in college. We met, fell in love, then he got out of the Air Force and returned to his home state to go to school. We were apart for eleven months, and had no money for long distance phone calls (remember this was in the dark ages, no e-mail!) so we wrote letters 3, 4 sometimes 6 times a week. I still have my shoebox full of letters.
There is something like the written letter, something you can read and reread.
D’Ann, maybe you could write a simple note to your husband, leave by his place at the table, or somewhere he would see it when you are gone. Just tell him a quality he has that you appreciate, something that reminds you of why you picked him those 27 years ago.
Sherry

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