Comments on: The Flame & the Family: How to Keep Passion Alive in a Busy Married Life

By: Do we know how to love?

Do we know how to love? — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 19:16:34 +0000

[...] stugray on 01/25/2010 There was a great post over at Romance University (a site I had not been to before) by my friend Dustin at Engaged [...]

By: KelseyBrowning

KelseyBrowning — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 05:33:32 +0000

Stu -

Thanks for stopping by. I took a look at your site yesterday, but was interrupted before I could make a comment (imagine that!).

What you say makes lots of sense in that we need to consider affection from our significant other’s point-of-view. I think many guys wouldn’t understand that taking out the trash can help him get lucky , but it’s true. The innocent touch thing is powerful, too.

As for women showing their affection through sex when they may not totally feel like it. I don’t disagree, but I think both partners need to understand the different between “absolutely don’t feel like it” and “I could be persuaded.” Probably there will be a lot more women in the “I could be persuaded” camp when her man does a few of those little things. And he needs to be okay with that session being short, sweet, and to the point. If she says, “This is for you” and means it, I say enjoy it, appreciate it and then let her get back to the laundry – LOL.

Hope you’ll stop by to see us again, Stu.

And thanks again, Dustin!

Kelsey

By: Do we know how to love?

Do we know how to love? — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 16:38:07 +0000

[...] was a great post over at Romance University (a site I had not been to before) by my friend Dustin at Engaged [...]

By: Dustin | Engaged Marriage

Dustin | Engaged Marriage — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 16:02:46 +0000

I appreciate your willingness to share the tough times you are experiencing, fromthepanel. I think you offer us all a very important reminder of the importance of being proactive and taking the time/energy required to ensure that you don’t lose your passion for one another. I can feel the pain in your words and know that you never intended for this to happen to your marriage. I’m very sorry.

By: fromthepanel

fromthepanel — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 07:32:40 +0000

Speaking from the other side of the bed. Allow something to come between the two of you and eliminate this part of the marriage and bad things happen. Even without unfaithfulness, allowing this to slowly disolve from a marriage over time can be the death of it….no matter whats at risk. I speak from experience. I have 2 children that don’t deserve the cards being handed them and there is nothing I can do to stop the divorce. There was a time when nothing was more than our happiness. And we were very happy. Spending time together wasn’t an issue…no matter the cost. But as things can happen, unforgiveness, pain, and anger can harden the heart. When this happens the desire to dedicate that 15 minutes is gone and there is nothing

By: Dustin | Engaged Marriage

Dustin | Engaged Marriage — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 12:59:12 +0000

It’s my pleasure, Darryl, and thank you for the kind words. It certainly does get tough to keep romance a priority when our lives get so busy. Trust me when I say I can totally relate!

By the way, please feel free to come over to EngagedMarriage.com where there are a lot of us crazy-busy-married-folks-with-young-kids types.

By: Darryl

Darryl — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 05:59:33 +0000

Very well expressed…if you would have told me three years ago that intimacy would be an issuefor my wife and I, I’d have thought you were insane…but with two small children running around and a few small businesses going, this part of our marriage certainly has suffered…thanks for the ideas…

By: Dustin | Engaged Marriage

Dustin | Engaged Marriage — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 03:11:43 +0000

Hey Stu!

Welcome to Romance University! I am new here also, but these ladies have welcomed me so openly it almost feels like home to me.

I can’t add anything to your comment except “Amen!”

Dustin

By: Stu @ The Marry Blogger

Stu @ The Marry Blogger — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 02:55:39 +0000

Great post Dustin – I have not been here to Romance University before today!

I was reading thru the comments and was thinking about that paradox that was mentioned by Kelsey “men need sex to feel close to women while women need to feel close before they want to have sex. ”

My natural tendency is to want to show love how I like to be loved. But that is not how it is supposed to work – right? We need to love our mate how they need to be loved. If I would like to enjoy sex with my beautiful wife – I need to start loving her early in the day – connecting with her in conversation and innocent friendly touch. I need to serve her by taking out the trash (perhaps) without being told!! It starts much earlier than right before we hop in bed.

I would assume that she too would learn to love me in the way I enjoy being loved. Which might mean having sex when she doesn’t necessarily feel like it.

Loving our mate the way they like and want to be loved is foreign to me – (and probably others) which makes that paradox such a big thing in marriages.

By: Dustin | Engaged Marriage

Dustin | Engaged Marriage — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 03:53:35 +0000

Sherry,

Theology of the Body was a written work and passion of Pope John Paul II. It focuses on the uniqueness and complimentary nature of human sexuality (masculinity and femininity). Most people wouldn’t believe that it was the work of a Pope…the Church is truly a very sexy institution!

If you want to know more, the modern spokesman for this is a man named Christopher West. His website has a section devoted to “What is Theology of the Body?”. Here’s a link: http://www.christopherwest.com/page.asp?ContentID=121 I also have other info on sexuality and natural family planning (it’s related) on my site as well.

Thank you for your kind words and support!

And I think your advice to D’Ann was excellent as well.