Truth time. I’m going to ask a question and (in my opinion) we all need to be honest with ourselves about it. Really. Brutally. Honest.
Are you ready? Imagine me clearing my throat and dabbing sweat from my brow. Four, three, two, one…
How good is the first page of your manuscript?
Scary, I know. What got me thinking about this was Lori Brighton’s contest a few months ago. Unpublished writers were invited to post the first paragraph of their manuscript on Lori’s website, and her editor at Kensington would review the entries and pick a winner. I didn’t final in the contest, but it inspired me to take a hard (really hard) look at the first paragraphs of my manuscripts.
I thought it would be fun to have Lori join us at RU to discuss this topic.
Here’s Lori:
In the Beginning…
I have to be honest, I’d never really thought about the importance of the first page, let alone the first paragraph, of a book. But then something happened. Well, actually, more than something, but a few things.
First, I went to a conference in which a panel of editors and agents read the first pages of volunteered manuscripts to a room full of quivering writers. Fortunately, these first pages were anonymous so when the editor or agent said it was horrible, the author could just die of horror internally, without other attendees knowing.
Why do people do it? The reason why writers do anything they do, for the chance to get published. A friend of mine had two agents extremely interested in her book after they read her first page to the crowd. Yep, after reading only one page, they hunted her down like she was prime rib.
But let’s be realistic for a moment. That was a conference where time was limited. What about in the privacy of their offices? Where agents and editors have plenty of time to read? Even editors will admit that unless that first paragraph is riddled with grammar mistakes, they’ll probably read more. But how much more? Well, glad you asked! I contacted a handful of editors and put the question to them: “How important is that first page and realistically how much of a manuscript do you read before setting it aside?”
Latoya Smith, editor at Grand Central Publishing, said it all when she responded with, “As with meeting a person first impressions are EVERYTHING. Honestly, I know whether or not I’ll like something by page 5. I’m not one to keep reading in hopes it’ll pique my interest.”
And Rose Hilliard from St. Martin’s had similar things to say. “Very important. If the first page is bad and the author doesn’t have an agent, I won’t read further. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to read all the manuscripts that come in, so as an editor, you have to be really selective about what you spend your time reading…”
My editor at Kensington, Megan Records, summed it up quite nicely, “If the first paragraph is an absolute disaster in terms of grammar/spelling/punctuation, then I’d reject based on that. And occasionally the first paragraph will set up a premise that I just have no interest in, so I’ll stop. Otherwise, I usually read at least 10-20 pages.”
Editors aren’t being rude, I promise. The fact is, especially in this economy editors are extremely overworked. They aren’t there only to read submissions. They have author egos to stroke, contracts to negotiate, and manuscripts to edit.
Knowing how hard it is to get published, right before my book came out I decided to have a best first paragraph contest on my blog with the help of my editor, Megan Records. I’m all for writing contests, its how I sold my debut book to Kensington. But many contests cost and add up quickly. Fortunately, there are more and more free online contests. The downside? While the paying contests let you send in anywhere from 10-50 pages, these online contests allow at the most, only a few pages. Most, no more than a paragraph. Why? They have amazing judges (usually editors and agents) and because they’re free, they garner an enormous amount of entries. We’re talking sometimes in the hundreds. Judging more than a paragraph would take up too much time and space. So obviously that first paragraph/page is extremely important.
And lastly, one more event occurred that made me realize the importance of the beginning of a manuscript…I picked up a book by Lisa Kleypas.
When you go into a bookstore, what’s the first thing that catches your eye? The cover, you say? Okay, second? Back cover blurb. All right, what’s the third thing that catches your eye? Ah, that’s right, the first page.
I picked up Lisa Kleypas’ book Tempt me at Twilight because it had a pretty cover. I read the back cover blurb, but was on the fence as to whether I would buy it. After all, for a starving newbie writer eight bucks is a lot of money to spend. Then I did what most readers searching for a book will do, I opened the book to the first page.
“Her chances of a decent marriage were about to be dashed – and all because of a ferret.”
What is a ferret doing in a historical romance?! My interested was piqued, and yes, I ended up buying the book because of the ferret.
Pick up a book by a New York Times Bestseller and read the first line, or first paragraph of his/her newest release. Chances are it will suck you in. The reaction of an editor or agent is important, but once your book hits stores, it’s the reader that counts and those readers are going straight to your first page.
“I’d never given much thought to how I would die – though I’d had reason enough in the last few months – but even if I had, I would never have imagined it like this.” Recognize it? It’s the first sentence in Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Show of hands, who would want to keep reading after that sentence? Obviously millions.
Here’s another great first line:
“A knock on the door in the dead of night could only mean disaster.” All right, so the author, Tessa Dare, isn’t a NY Times best seller… yet. But if you know anything about the romance world, chances are you’ve heard of Tessa Dare and that she got a huge three book deal with this book, Goddess Of The Hunt. .
Here’s another bestseller, do you recognize the first line?
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” Cute, to the point, interesting, just like the book. The first line of Pride and Prejudice.
So how do you make the beginning of your book more interesting? Hook the reader any way you can. Your first line should be odd, interesting, it should show your voice and the tone of your book. Make it upsetting, and you can’t get much more upsetting than talking about death in your first line of your book. Make it odd and unique…ferrets are always good. Set up a dire situation that keeps the readers wanting to know what will happen next— a knock in the dead of night. But most importantly make it uniquely you.
I’m not saying that just because your first page isn’t amazing you won’t sell your book. Nor am I saying that just because your first page is great, the rest of your book doesn’t have to be just as good. A brilliant first line, first paragraph, first page is just the beginning. Make sure the book follows that wonderful opening; hook the reader with every page, every chapter.
Editor Tracy Farrell from Harlequin sums it up brilliantly, “A terrific first page is great, but if the second page is not very good, few editors will continue to read the manuscript. As for how far I read, it depends on the project. If the manuscript is compelling from beginning to end, I will read it all, if it’s not, I won’t. Sadly, there just aren’t enough hours in the day for me to read every page or to help new authors with their writing.”
You have one chance and one chance only to pull in a reader. Make it count!
***
RU Crew, are you inspired to revisit your opening pages? Let us know. And if you have a great first line, feel free to post it.
Thank you, Lori for being here. Crew, Lori will be giving away copies of her debut book Wild Heart to two lucky readers. Leave a comment to be entered into the drawing.
Join us on Monday for Query Writing 101 when C.J. Redwine will critique a reader’s query letter.
Lori’s Bio: Lori has a degree in Anthropology and worked as a museum curator. Deciding the people in her imagination were slightly more exciting than the dead things in a museum basement, she set out to become an author. Her debut historical romance, Wild Heart, was released by Kensington in November of 2009. For more information visit Lori’s website at www.loribrighton.com.
Kelsey's serving up bite-sized morsels for your noggin on her new 
Hi Lori,
Thank you for the great post! I picked up Wild Heart the first week it came out and hope to read it soon.
Here’s my first line from A Lady’s Revenge:
Guy Trevelyan, Earl of Helsford, stopped short at the sharp smell of burning flesh.
Happy Friday!
Tracey
Posted by Tracey Devlyn | January 29, 2010, 6:53 amLori -
Fantastic post that will have me going back over my first page with a fine tooth comb!
Right now, the first sentence of one of my ST contemporaries is: “Blow.” Not sure that would hook a reader or not, so I may do some shuffling of my first couple of paragraphs. As it stands, the first full paragraph is:
“Blow. Twist, untwist, re-twist. Clancy Shepherdson stared down at the long, yellow balloon gripped in her hands. Homely was really the only way to describe the mutant wiener dog. Bulldog snout capped with rabbit ears. More twisting resulted in a giraffe neck and legs.”
So thanks for the reminder of how important those first words of a story are!
Kelsey
Posted by KelseyBrowning | January 29, 2010, 7:15 amIt’s kind of interesting thinking about your first sentence/first page, isn’t it? Like I said, if you don’t have an amazing first line, that doesn’t mean you won’t sell your book, but it certainly helps.
I’ll share too. Here’s the first line of my new series I’m hoping to sell soon (fingers crossed!):
“He always got the virgins.”
If you have something really interesting/odd, it also helps sometimes, imo, to seperate that first line into it’s own paragraph.
Posted by Lori Brighton | January 29, 2010, 7:45 amLove the virgins line, Lori!
Posted by KelseyBrowning | January 29, 2010, 9:06 amHi, Lori. Thank you for a great post. I love the virgins line!
Here’s the opening from one of my books. “Ah, shit.” Vic Andrews, butthead supreme, listened to the whirring noise that could have been the ocean. Or maybe his life had just skittered off its axis.
I don’t know if I love the line or I just love Vic. LOL.
Either way, I will never look at my first lines the same way again.
Posted by AdrienneGiordano | January 29, 2010, 8:13 amThanks for the great post, Lori. I love the virgins line.
Here’s an opening from one of my books. It’s easy to figure out what genre I write. lol
Mason Bailey gulped down his third Glenlivet. “I didn’t kill her.”
How many times had Whitney Steel heard those words? Dozens. But never from the mouth of a United States senator.
In my latest WIP, I haven’t decided whose POV would work best to open the story. I’ve changed my mind a dozen times. lol I have three options.
If the phone rang in the middle of the night, it was never good news. Not in Victory’s world.
Within the hour Derrick Linn would kill his next target, a local radio host known as ‘Big Mouth’ Bullington.
or
He wondered how long this one would scream before she passed out from the pain.
Posted by Kim Cresswell | January 29, 2010, 9:35 amKim -
My pick is either the first or third opening line!
Kels
Posted by KelseyBrowning | January 29, 2010, 9:44 amI like the last one.
Posted by AdrienneGiordano | January 29, 2010, 1:18 pmTracey–I love that first line. I totally want to know why flesh is burning. And who doesn’t love virgins?
Posted by raven | January 29, 2010, 9:37 amHi Lori,
thanks for the interesting post. I don’t think I’m brave enough to share the first lines of my three mss here – reading them now, I recognize that two of them are just way too ordinary, and one is x-rated (so I spare you guys).
Your post has inspired me to look at my first paragraphs with a more critical eye – re-write, here I come!
Thanks,
Tina Spear
Posted by Tina Spear | January 29, 2010, 9:49 amGreat first lines, ladies! I agree on how important the first page is — as a reader, I have to make sure my $$ go as far as possible, so when I’m in the bookstore, if all of a sudden I forget that I’m “just looking”, and all of a sudden I’m wondering, “oh no, what happens next?” and I’m on page 5 — that means I’m buying that book.
Here’s my first lines:
“You just don’t expect to see gunfire at a wedding.”
“Only a miracle could halt the wedding now.”
Mmm. Didn’t realize I had a wedding fixation! LOL
Posted by Donna Cummings | January 29, 2010, 10:17 amI laughed out loud at the gunfire one! Great line.
Posted by AdrienneGiordano | January 29, 2010, 1:19 pmI agree! That sounds like a Texas wedding to me though.
K-
Posted by Kelsey Browning | January 29, 2010, 3:16 pmOr an Italian one!
Posted by AdrienneGiordano | January 29, 2010, 3:22 pmOh jeez, now I have to worry about the Texas mafia! LOL. Wouldn’t that be a helluva party??
Posted by Kelsey Browning | January 29, 2010, 3:28 pmOops — didn’t mention that those are from two different books, the first contemp, the second historical. *slinks off to consume more caffeine*
Posted by Donna Cummings | January 29, 2010, 10:18 amHi all..
just dashing through…love the first lines!
here’s mine
Her hands were everywhere. On his neck, his back, his shoulders. He groaned with sheer pleasure. Sure it was costing him a fortune, but he wouldn’t think of letting anyone else touch him this way.
and
“Countdown to launch, two minutes.”
great post lori!!!
carrie
Posted by carrie | January 29, 2010, 10:54 amCarrie – so wanna know who is touching him!
K-
Posted by Kelsey Browning | January 29, 2010, 3:29 pmpssst..it’s his chiropractor..lol
Posted by carrie | January 30, 2010, 4:32 pmI have to say, this is kind of fun, reading these! And your first lines are great! I think if anything, it really makes you think about how you start your book, and even each chapter.
Posted by Lori Brighton | January 29, 2010, 11:37 amFun post. I love first lines, and there have been some great ones in the comments.
Here’s the first one from my women’s fiction:
Eat me, Connie, eat me.
Posted by Edie | January 29, 2010, 12:01 pmYou guys are cracking me up with some of these lines!
Posted by AdrienneGiordano | January 29, 2010, 1:20 pmGreat article, Lori. It’s so true! I love first lines.
I suppose the first thing the book has to do is get the reader’s attention enough to pick it up, which is a promotional & book cover thing. But after that, it’s that opening. As reader, if I love the first paragraph or page, I’m totally buying the book.
Let’s see, the opening line of my June book, THE IRISH WARRIOR:
“He was about to smile when the blade pressed against his throat and stopped that frivolity.”
And the one I’m working on now, for June-ish 2011 release (no title yet):
“At first, it appeared they both wanted the same cock.
But as he watched, he realized she wasn’t after the rooster at all. And of course, neither was he.”
Posted by Kris Kennedy | January 29, 2010, 2:24 pmOh, Kris –
Love the cock one, but I’m a tad twisted that way.
Kels
Posted by Kelsey Browning | January 29, 2010, 3:18 pmKels~
LOL–but twisted is *good.* Very, very good.
Posted by Kris Kennedy | January 29, 2010, 3:20 pmSee Adrienne & Tracey, someone approves of my twistedness. Remember that the next time you crit one of my love scenes!
K-
Posted by Kelsey Browning | January 29, 2010, 3:27 pmLOL – we live for your sex scenes!
Posted by TraceyDevlyn | January 29, 2010, 9:58 pmPlease note that I didn’t comment on her being twisted!
Posted by AdrienneGiordano | January 29, 2010, 3:24 pmFunny line about the rooster!
Posted by AdrienneGiordano | January 29, 2010, 3:23 pmLori,
You’re so right about the steps we go through to make a book buying decision. I’ve done it many times myself!
Hahahaha, Kris. That “cock” start had me!
Here’s the start of my current WIP, an untitled short story set in the same world as the series I just sold to HQN.
“This won’t hurt. Well, maybe just a little.”
Posted by Laurie London | January 29, 2010, 3:09 pmLaurie – Can’t wait to find out what hurts. I’m gonna be the first one in line for that new paranormal!
K-
Posted by Kelsey Browning | January 29, 2010, 3:18 pmKelsey — Aw, you’re so sweet!
Lori — We’re usually a civilized bunch around here. I think we need to blame Kris for stirring up the pot.
Posted by Laurie London | January 29, 2010, 4:25 pmI liked your opening line, Laurie, even if I was a little scared by it. It reminded me of . . . the dentist. :shudder: Seriously, why is there not a horror movie about a dentist? Not that I’d watch it of course . . .
If I contributed to pot stirring, then I’m very, very . . . glad.
Twisted cocks, I mean, com’on!
I really liked your blog, Lori. It’s so, so true that the opening is the first impression. Psychologically, we’re predisposed to continue thinking the way we *began* thinking (about a person, an event, etc), and it sets up this sort-of ‘yes set’ that can help carry the reader deep into the story.
And even if that weren’t so, first lines are just so much fun!
Posted by Kris Kennedy | January 29, 2010, 4:39 pmSheesh, I go away for a bit, come back and you’re all talking about twisted cocks.
Seriously though, you guys are cracking me up and these openings are great!
Posted by Lori Brighton | January 29, 2010, 3:31 pmLori -
Remember, one of our taglines at Romance University is: “RU Ready?” We try to live up to that on occasion.
Bedtime in my part of the world, so I just want to say thanks again for being here today, Lori!
Kels
Posted by Kelsey Browning | January 29, 2010, 3:41 pmHey, Lori. Your beginnings contest was great. I’m always trying to think of the best possible first line, first paragraph, for my heroine/hero.
Posted by Renee | January 29, 2010, 5:53 pmWonderful blog, Lori.
I’m the weird one. I look at the book, read the blurb, and turn to the middle to make sure it’s not first person POV. For some reason, I can’t stand to read books like that anymore. Then I turn to the first page.
My favorite first line of all time belongs to a NYT best-seller: “It was the biggest cock she’d ever seen.”
My second it “The bride damn-near unmanned the groom and stole his dagger before the wedding.”
Then: “If she was gonna kill a bull, she’d need a bigger blade.”
(Of course the last two are mine, but I’m biased.
Thanks for sharing your wit and wisdom yet again!
Posted by Mary McCall | January 29, 2010, 7:02 pmPS to Adrienne.
Thanks to you and everyone at Romance University for continually bringing us such marvelous and up-to-date info. I lurk a lot and don’t always comment, but I really enjoy this site.
Posted by Mary McCall | January 29, 2010, 7:06 pmMary,
Whether you lurk or comment, we’re so thankful that you continue to stop by.
Enjoy your weekend!
Tracey
Posted by TraceyDevlyn | January 29, 2010, 10:03 pmBrilliant post! And what a ton of effort you put into get those editor’s opinions. I can’t agreed more with all that has been said about that first page. It is the most difficult to write. I’ve been know to struggle for hours, days, weeks even on the first sentence. Always changing and testing…
Thanks, Lori, for the great information.
Posted by Kimberly Killion | January 29, 2010, 7:27 pmI just wanted to thank everyone for stopping by! And a special thanks to the editors for their time!
P.S. Our very own Kimberly Killion was the person the agents hunted down after reading her first page. Yes, Kim is that good.
Posted by Lori Brighton | January 29, 2010, 8:13 pmI can see why – loved Her One Desire! Kim has an awesome, informative web site, too.
Posted by TraceyDevlyn | January 29, 2010, 10:06 pmOooh, yes, she does. Kimberly, that must’ve taken forever to compile such an extensive links list for writers. I’ve bookmarked it and I’ll come back to it often. Thank you!
First lines and pages are tricky because they’re so important. I do believe that some books start off too big. As a reader, you’re thrust into a bunch of action and it’s hard to know who is who and what the heck is going on. I don’t enjoy feeling confused when I start reading a new book. Posing a story question is good, but being slammed by one isn’t pleasant.
Posted by Laurie London | January 31, 2010, 2:04 pmLori and Tracey, you are both too sweet. I will say this…as a result of getting such positive feedback on my first page from that conference, I ended up parting ways with a former agent and signing a new one, whom I totally love.
I neglected to share a few first sentences when I posted the first time (I don’t function well in the evenings
) So…here’s the first sentence of the book Tracey referred to: Father must protect me or I am dead.
And here’s the first line of the book that garnered so much interest at the conference Lori talked about: At ten and six, Reid MacGregor only had one person occupying his mind, and she stood at his boot tips preparing him for the dive into Loch Long.
And to date, this is my favorite first line I’ve written thus far: “Remove your garments, per favore.”
Posted by Kimberly Killion | January 30, 2010, 4:20 amHey Kim,
I love that first line, “At ten and six, Reid MacGregor…”! It’s fabulous.
Posted by Kris Kennedy | January 30, 2010, 11:49 amHi all! I’m late to the party, but thought I’d share the opening of the book I’m working on now:
“Incoming!”
Serah St. Germain swiveled in her new Jimmy Choo pumps. The beautiful wedding cake—the one her cake decorator had spent eight hours frosting and decorating just yesterday—sailed through the air.
Posted by Sidney Ayers | January 30, 2010, 12:25 pmThis has ALL been very interesting! We were just talking about the importance of first lines, first paragraphs, and first pages at our critique group this week. They can sure be a deal-maker or breaker.
Posted by Lynnette Hallberg | January 30, 2010, 1:14 pmI’m going to go out on a limb and say I disagree with the first pages being important. An author can write a hell of a beginning and tank fast from page 75 on. There, I just wasted my money on the book, because no one bothered to agree that the book sucked after that first page. Case in point:
“I’d never given much thought to how I would die – though I’d had reason enough in the last few months – but even if I had, I would never have imagined it like this.”
This first page stopped me from reading that novel–for over a year I wouldn’t touch this book because, um, hello? Do I know this person? Do I really care how Josephine Schmo thought she was going to die, when I don’t even *know* Josephine Schmo? Not really, no. Did the book get better? Well….yes, but I didn’t really fall for it until Edward and Carlise’s backgrounds were revealed–what? Half way through the book? Or let’s say the opening five pages of The Fellowship of the Ring. It’s pretty much just description and backstory, boring stuff by most standards these days, and yet it is one of the seminal works of Fantasy literature.
That’s just an example of course, but I stick to my point. I realize editors are overworked, but realistically that’s not the way people read. Heck, if it was, think of how small the literature classes would get over the years. You’d bore your students within the first five pages of almost every classic book printed, and they, in turn, wouldn’t teach those so called classics ever again. But then, I admit, yes, there are some killer first pages out there. The first page of Dune, for instance. Still it wasn’t that that stopped me reading the first time I tried that novel; it was the meat of the story, all the stuff you don’t get in the first five pages (though I’ve remedied that oversight over the years). All in all, though, no, I don’t think the first pages are important at all except insofar as they set the tone of the book, but tone isn’t the meat of the story. How sad that, as a society, we’ve grown so short in our attention spans, and come to believe otherwise. Just my opinion.
Posted by Juliette | January 30, 2010, 2:57 pmYou’re totally right Juliette, and I mention that in my last paragraph, that just because your first page/sentence isn’t great doens’t mean you aren’t going to sell. And just because its great doesn’t mean you will. And you can see Tracy Farrell’s quote on that subject too in the last para. But as I mention, in many instances that first page is valuable. For instance, in many online constests where you only get the chance to post the first page, or when they do the panels at conferences.
Truth of the matter is that its a totally different world now, from when the classics were written. Books that we consider classics, might not be given the time of day now by an editor or agent. I’m just repeating to you what editors said, and most editors won’t go past a few pages. Sucks, but true.
And classics are great and many people read the classics, when they’re forced to in school. But the majority of book sales are not based on classics, they’re based on commercial fiction. And you’re right, because our attentions spans are so short now, those commercial fiction books have to grab you from the beginning.
Posted by Lori Brighton | January 30, 2010, 4:47 pmI, too, appreciate this point that Julliette made. I am frequently annoying my friends by lamenting our high-speed culture, and how we have become such a passive society in so many ways, including wanting to be ‘fed’ our entertainment without having to work at it.
That being said . . . I think the opening page(s) are as much about Voice, and engagement, as a ‘pick-up-the-pace-for-heaven’s-sake-there-are-kids-trying-to-read-this!’ mentality.
I read long, slow works of fiction, and love them, but I still need to be grabbed by the author’s voice and a story question in those opening pages, and on almost every subsequent page, or I’m not buying it. Literally. LOL
In the greatest of the ‘classics,’ there is still a story question to hold our interest, be it small, momentary one (‘will he cross the room to speak with her?’) or a large one (‘Will he get the whale?’). And I think the ability to demonstrate that ability on the first page–and keep doing it–makes for good storytelling, in any era.
But of course, there will always be ‘sleepers,’ those wonderful books that start out drab, or for whatever reason don’t hold our interest at the start, but are terrific, worthwhile stories if we put in the effort.
And vice versa, too–those that start with a bang, then sizzle quickly. Those are the ones I get most irritated by.
Posted by Kris Kennedy | January 30, 2010, 5:03 pmPS. Even though I disagree on this topic, I enjoyed your post, Lori! Best of luck with your new book!
Posted by Juliette | January 30, 2010, 3:04 pmAh, to be hunted down like prime rib….everyone can wish for that opportunity, right? I agree, the first sentence, first paragraph is so important. If its too cheesy, you get set up with that impression throughout the book. But if it is wonderful, well…..you can’t get past it fast enough and on to other gems!
Posted by Heather | January 30, 2010, 3:53 pmI finally figured out the first sentence for my next:
Why the Sabine women has to be raped, she’d never know.
I’m still playing with it. It did say … dragged by their hair and raped, but I like shorted if possible.
Posted by Mary McCall | January 30, 2010, 5:27 pmIf I had a great first line I’d post it.
But I don’t.
Please enter me in the drawing anyway.
Posted by Flora Morris Brown, Ph.D. | January 31, 2010, 7:45 pm