Posted On April 4, 2012 by Print This Post

Five Sex Thrills No One Talks About with Ruth Harris

I met Ruth Harris last year through Anne R. Allen’s blog. Ruth is a former editor and publisher, and a multi-published, NY Times bestselling author. Ruth’s engaging storytelling and her cast of complex and unforgettable characters always leaves me sleep deprived and wanting more.  

Ruth’s novels are full of sexy, magnetic men. But sexy extends beyond appearances. Ruth tells us why.   

The vaunted 6-pack? Meh. 

The broad shoulders and small waist? Big effing deal.

The biceps and triceps? The quads and hammies? Don’t bore me.

Lifts weights like an Olympic champ but won’t lift a finger around the house? Surely you jest. 

Bulked-up cover boys remind me of Arnold Schwartzenegger and we all know what he was up to. Or else they bring to mind pro athletes—baseball, football, basketball, you name it—with a different baby mama in every city his team plays in.
I have zero interest in a man who devotes hours to himself and “sculpting” his body.

He’s the kind of man I’m going to have to fight for mirror time in the AM, who uses more—and more expensive—“beauty” products than I do, and the kind of man whose self-involvement turns me off, not on. 

What turns me on in a man is:

1: Competence— Can he change a tire, fix a leaky faucet? Big plus for sure if he can, but, no, I’m not looking for a handyman. Sometimes I just want the man who knows who to call to get the job done.

2: Humor—Give me a man who can make me laugh—over spilled milk, a bad haircut, a new recipe even the dog won’t eat. He’s the kind of man who can make me smile all the way into the bedroom.

3: Integrity—Introduce me to the man I can trust. The guy who won’t cheat on me, steal my money or turn into a vampire sucking my energy, ambition, goals, dreams is the man who turns me on & keeps me turned on.

4: Savvy—Set me up with the man who knows how to wangle/charm his way into an airline upgrade, can order in a french/spanish/chinese/dominican restaurant, is knowledgeable about finance, insurance and world affairs. That’s a man you can live with for a life time and never once be bored or restless.

5: Smile—Who can resist a guy with the kind of smile that would melt a glacier or even contribute to global warming? Does his smile start with a glint in the eyes, go to the mouth & light up the whole face? Please. Give him my number and Twitter handle.

Oh, and one last thing, I also appreciate a man who can put a load of laundry in the machine, turn it on, unload it and then FOLD THE LAUNDRY AND PUT IT AWAY without fearing his testosterone level will sink lower than a nuclear submarine.

Or the guy who can cook dinner and clean up afterwards without acting like turning on the stove or washing a dish will make his man root shrivel up and fall off.

Spare me the studs. Keep your hunks. You can have those “irresistible” bad boys all the girls seem to love. Just give me a man who appreciates everyday life and knows how to live it.  


Okay, what kind of man gets your engine revving? Is he any different from the heroes in your stories? Tell us why.


Ruth is generously offering a fabulous Lucky Seven giveaway! The first seven and the last seven commenters today will receive a copy of one of her e-books! Be sure to leave your email address when commenting!  

DECADES, HUSBANDS & LOVERS, LOVE & MONEY, MODERN WOMEN, THE LAST ROMANTICS and HOOKED are all formatted for Kindle or the Kindle App on iPad. DECADES, HUSBANDS & LOVERS and LOVE & MONEY are available on Nook.


Author Dave Thome joins us Friday, April 6th.  


Here’s a blurb on one of Ruth’s bestselling books. I’ve read it and highly recommend it.

MODERN WOMEN: A million-copy New York Times Bestseller

Beginning with the assassination of John F. Kennedy in Dallas, Texas on 11/22/63, MODERN WOMEN is about three women—and the men—who live and love during these turbulent times.

Lincky Desmond: She marries Mr. Right—only to risk it all for Mr. Wrong.

Elly McGrath: She is loyal and idealistic but when faced with the ultimate betrayal, will she be able to stand up for herself?

Jane Gresh: Bawdy, talented and determined not to be ignored, she manages to shock the entire country.

Owen Casals: Handsome, successful, magnetic. He marries one, betrays another and makes one of them very, very rich.

“Sharp and stylishly written. Passionate, daring and unconventional.” — Chicago Sun-Times

 “FICTION AT ITS BEST!” — New Woman Magazine


Bio:  Ruth Harris is a New York Times bestselling author whose books (with Random House, Simon & Schuster, and St.Martin’s Press) have sold millions of copies in hardcover and paperback, been translated into 19 languages, published in 25 countries and selected by the Literary Guild and Book-of-the-Month Club.

Ruth started out in publishing right after she graduated from college. Her first job was as secretary to a textbook editor, an unpromising start if there ever was one, but she was soon promoted to copyediting—much more interesting.
In the years that followed—the years when editors ran publishing—Ruth worked at Dell and Bantam and at Lancer, a successful but now defunct (not because of her!) independent mass market paperback publisher where she wallowed in the joys of genre publishing in its heyday.
She’s been a copywriter, assistant editor, editor, editor-in-chief and, eventually, publisher at Kensington.
Ruth has reissued her backlist as ebooks. You can now buy The Last Romantics, Husbands and Lovers, Decades, Love And Money and Modern Women for your Kindle, Nook, iPad or other ereader.  She has also co-written a thriller called HOOKED, A Thriller with my husband, Michael; now available as an ebook.

Ruth blogs with author Anne R. Allen and WG2E. Contact Ruth by e-mail at:  She loves to hear from her readers.

Similar Posts:

Share Button



41 Responses to “Five Sex Thrills No One Talks About with Ruth Harris”

  1. I agree with every throbbing syllable! And especially the sense of humor. Someone who looks at the world the way you do is probably someone looking in the same direction as you and that has to be good.

    Posted by Alison | April 4, 2012, 3:16 am
  2. So very true! If you want a list of the “perfect” man, see above! Thanks for sharing! *g*

    Posted by Poppy Dennison | April 4, 2012, 3:42 am
  3. True on the point about being able to do laundry or cook. It beats prime time comedy’s stereotype about the average family man.

    You’re not afraid of a man that shows his “feminine side”. 🙂

    Posted by Chihuahua0 | April 4, 2012, 5:36 am
  4. Hi Ruth,

    Humor is number one, but smiles melt me. My husband is a good cook and takes over the kitchen every Sunday. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

    Posted by Mary Jo Burke | April 4, 2012, 5:56 am
  5. Ruth – thanks for being with us today. What a great post!

    I absolutely agree – I love a man who treats others well – especially those who are weaker and less able.Show me a man who spends the afternoon helping his Grandma and I’m hooked!

    But I have to confess that I would love a guy who does the laundry thing . . . but with a hot bod and preferably in his underwear! ; )


    Posted by Robin Covington | April 4, 2012, 5:56 am
  6. Robin—Underwear? Or maybe a Speedo???? lol

    Posted by Ruth Harris | April 4, 2012, 6:02 am
  7. LOL
    I’d say your list is pretty close to mine. I’d also add ‘A man who’s not afraid to say I’m sorry.” 🙂

    Posted by Kiru Taye | April 4, 2012, 6:17 am
  8. Morning Ruth!

    What a great list – mine includes being kind to animals – and waitstaff. lol….ok, the last one is just for me. But if your man isn’t kind to either, he’s no kind of man for me!

    Great post – thanks so much!


    Posted by Carrie Spencer | April 4, 2012, 6:56 am
  9. Carrie—thanks. You’re so right! A man who is rude to waitstaff or nasty to an animal is a man who’s off the list!
    I’d also add that cheap tippers are to be avoided.

    Posted by Ruth Harris | April 4, 2012, 7:22 am
  10. This is the most accurate list I’ve ever seen. EXACTLY what I’m looking for. In fact, if I ever do online dating again, I’m going to copy and paste this right in the “What I want” box. (I’ll give credit, no worries.)

    I need to read some of these books!

    Posted by Terri Osburn | April 4, 2012, 7:30 am
  11. Terri—Thanks! This is the finest example of recycling ever. If you ever return to online dating, it’ll be interesting to find out how many men see themselves this way…and whether or not you agree! 😉

    Posted by Ruth Harris | April 4, 2012, 8:10 am
  12. Where were you when I was single?

    Posted by Jeff Cohen | April 4, 2012, 8:52 am
  13. Gosh, Ruth…you just described my husband! 🙂

    Great post!

    Posted by Cindy Angell Keeling | April 4, 2012, 9:23 am
  14. I have to admit, I never dated a guy because he was sculpted, buff and had a six-to-eight pack.

    I never dated much at all, because I met and married a guy with numbers 1-5 back when I was 19. It hasn’t been a bed of roses the whole time, but it has been fun.

    On the other hand, that laundry bit? Not in this house!

    I do like romantic fiction, and I can easily imagine a hero with all those wonderful traits PLUS a sculpted body, a six pack and a talent for laundry. It helps that I have an excellent imagination!

    Posted by Becke Martin/Davis | April 4, 2012, 9:30 am
  15. Becke—About that excellent imagination: Don’t you think most women have one? And need it, too!!! lol

    Posted by Ruth Harris | April 4, 2012, 9:44 am
  16. Hi Ruth!

    Love your list! I can’t stand a cheap tipper or a guy with no social skills or table manners.

    I let my husband do my laundry once before we were married. Never again. It’s not his forte, but he makes me laugh.

    Posted by Jennifer Tanner | April 4, 2012, 10:04 am
  17. I love this, Ruth! I am so turned off by the narcissistic “hey, look at me” guys in a lot of romances these days. The truth is, women don’t restrict sexiness to visuals the way men do.

    I had to deal with this just yesterday when writing a scene introducing the hero of my latest Camilla mystery. I needed her to fall for him right away, not do her usual oblivious thing. So I made him show concern for the homeless guy who panhandles outside her shop. He even knows the man’s name. He treats everybody with respect–that’s sexy.

    Posted by Anne R. Allen (@annerallen) | April 4, 2012, 10:21 am
  18. LOVE this post! I used to cringe at all the Fabio-esque covers we had in the 80s and 90s, LOL. I just want to see a nice smile, or a hint of humor in the eyes. Something to show the person underneath. I’m copying this post as I start revisions. Even I can use the reminder!

    Posted by Melanie | April 4, 2012, 10:49 am
  19. I agree completely. Give me a real man who can cope with real life. Tat’s the kind I want to write about, read about and live with.

    Posted by Jennie Marsland | April 4, 2012, 11:03 am
  20. Jennie—Yes! Real men DO eat quiche–& do the dishes after!

    Posted by Ruth Harris | April 4, 2012, 11:21 am
  21. Integrity. That’s what matters to me. Hubby has it. Knew it from when we first met. I don’t care if a guy can do dishes, fix a leaky faucet, or get us great seats on an airplane. What matters to me is if he’s a good person.

    Posted by Mercy | April 4, 2012, 2:42 pm
  22. Mercy—Perfect! Without integrity, nothing else means anything.

    Posted by Ruth Harris | April 4, 2012, 3:10 pm
  23. The last part of the laundry fantasy is critical, the folding and putting away of the clothes in question. I’ve been married to a wonderful man for almost 20 years. He’ll wash & dry the clothes, but the folding thing still escapes him. 🙂

    Posted by Janel Gradowski | April 4, 2012, 6:51 pm
  24. Ruth,

    Thank you for joining us today and for your generous giveaway.

    And thanks to everyone who stopped in to comment!

    Posted by Jennifer Tanner | April 4, 2012, 10:57 pm
  25. I’m so with Ruth on this. I’m so tired of those romance covers that show naked guys who look like they’re molded out of plastic. At best they look like gay gym bunnies, but mostly they look like narcissistic creeps who’d spend more time looking at themselves in the mirror than they’d spend with you. Sexy is as sexy DOES.

    Posted by Anne R. Allen | April 3, 2013, 11:30 am
  26. Anne—Yessss! Real women want real men. Not guys who look like they spend 8 hours a day at the gym admiring themselves in the mirror.

    To me? A turn off. Not a turn on.

    Posted by Ruth Harris | April 4, 2013, 7:02 am

Post a comment

Upcoming Posts





Follow Us