Posted On December 7, 2015 by Print This Post

Dealing With Rejection by Adrienne Giordano

RU co-founder and USA Today best-selling author Adrienne Giordano addresses a topic writers know well. 


It’s a nasty little word isn’t it? As writers, we face it. A lot. I personally have never gotten comfortable with it. Then again, rejections no longer send me wilting to the floor in tears.

Five or six years ago, a writer friend told me an agent “chose to resist” her work and it was an aha moment for me.

Chose to resist.

How fabulous is that?

So much better than rejected. From that point on, when I received one of those dreaded rejection letters, I simply congratulated myself for sending the manuscript out (again!) and moved on. Sure, there were times when a particular editor’s resistance hit me a little harder than others, but on those occasions I allowed myself a pity party for the remainder of the day. That was the deal with myself. Whether it was first thing in the morning or late at night when I received the rejection, I allowed myself to feel horrible until I went to sleep. For me, anything beyond that was counter-productive and suppressed my creativity.

And I hate that.

The problem is, rejection doesn’t go away. I have over twenty books under my belt and my agent is still forwarding rejection Dog Collar Crime - Updated Ebookletters. Sorry, peeps, it’s something we writers have to face throughout our careers. So, let’s talk about an action plan for when someone chooses to resist your work.

Step 1

Allow yourself to feel awful about it, but set a deadline. You cannot make it open-ended or your creativity will be zapped. Even if you have to write it down, force yourself to set a time limit. Repeat after me, “For the next (insert however many hours) I am going to allow myself to feel really crappy about this agent/editor choosing to resist my work.”

Step 2

Pull out that chose-to-resist letter and see if there are any nuggets you can pull from it. I once received a rejection from an agent that said (and yes, this is verbatim because I still have the letter.): “I really, really loved all of your characters and thought your pacing and dialogue were working overall, but it just didn’t stand out enough in the already crowded romantic suspense subgenre. I think you are very talented and would be happy to look at other projects in the future.”

At the time, that letter sent me to my knees. When reading it, all I saw was that I’d done a good job and it still wasn’t good enough. Luckily, that very night I was having dinner with Tracey Devlyn, my all-around great pal and an amazing writer and we had a joint pity party. I cried, I moaned, I felt sorry for myself. I had a martini.

The next day, after my allotted pity time, I pulled the letter out and analyzed it. Yes, it was a rejection, but the agent talked about my strengths, told me I was talented and that she would look at future work. As rejections go, this was a darned fine one. A class-A rejection. That was over six years ago and I still think about it. In fact, I kept the letter on my desk for a long time. As other rejections—maybe not so nice ones—came in, I went back to the class-A one to remind myself that a top agent thought I had talent.

Bottom line here, find the nugget that will sustain you.

Step 3

Keep writing. Take any nuggets you receive and build on them. If someone says your plotting is fabulous, try and improve it. Whatever it is you are good at, keep doing it and try to make it better. Conversely, if there are areas you need to improve on, work on them. Study craft books, reach out to writer friends for advice, do whatever you need to because if an agent or editor says your dialogue needs work, they’re helping you. They took the time to give you specifics about areas to improve on and that means you connected with them on some level. Think about the vast number of queries agents and editors must receive. If you connect with them, you’ve done something right.

Step 4

Surround yourself with people who will support you through the tough times. I have the good fortune to have wonderful critique partners who are all too willing to talk me off ledges. And they have. When someone called one of my characters an a**hole, my critique partners were the first ones to tell me how much they loved him.

And by the way, that character is the hero in the book referenced above in the class-A rejection from the agent. Even better, that book was later acquired by Carina Press and has a 4.5 out of 5 rating on Amazon. Man Law saw its share of rejections, but some of them were promising rejections and they kept me motivated to find a home for my challenging hero.

If an editor or agent chooses to resist, stay the course, improve where you need to and make adjustments as necessary. In today’s publishing climate, there are plenty of options for writers and you will find a home for your story.

How do you deal with rejection?


Adrienne GiordanoBio: USA Today bestselling author Adrienne Giordano writes romantic suspense and mystery.  She is a Jersey girl at heart, but now lives in the Midwest with her workaholic husband, sports obsessed son and Buddy the Wheaten Terrorist (Terrier). She is a co-founder of Romance University blog and Lady Jane’s Salon-Naperville, a reading series dedicated to romantic fiction. For more information on Adrienne’s books, please visit

To get the inside scoop on Adrienne’s new releases and VIP reader giveaways click here. Adrienne can also be found on Facebook at, Twitter at and Goodreads at For information on Adrienne’s street team, Dangerous Darlings, go to

Adrienne’s books are available from AmazoniBooks, and Barnes & Noble

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8 Responses to “Dealing With Rejection by Adrienne Giordano”

  1. Thanks for this post. I’m not sending my ms. out yet, but will save this to remind myself of the inevitable–and what to do then. Appreciate your candor!

    Posted by Carol Baldwin | December 7, 2015, 8:54 am
  2. Hi Adrienne,

    Very timely post. I received a nasty rejection on Saturday. Isn’t it the holiday season? Gave myself a few hours and back to the book I sold which will be out in November. One step at a time.

    Posted by Mary Jo Burke | December 7, 2015, 10:25 am
    • Hi, Mary Jo. I’m sorry someone “chose to resist”! Good for you for not letting it derail you. The nasty ones are tough, but I try not to let them get to me. My theory is that if the person is nasty right out of the gate, I wouldn’t want to work with them.

      One step at a time is right!

      Posted by Adrienne Giordano | December 7, 2015, 3:57 pm
  3. Great post and I appreciate the perspective of a multi-pubbed author. So much rejection advice is directed to new writers with a first manuscript, but its helpful to know this goes with the territory, whether you’ve published zero books or twenty. Thanks.

    Posted by Elizabeth Harmon | December 7, 2015, 10:52 am
    • Hello, Elizabeth! So nice to see you here! I’m sure there are authors who no longer receive rejections. I’m just not one of them. 🙂

      One of the things I’ve grown to appreciate is that I no longer take a rejection personally. Sometimes it just comes down to a certain type of voice an editor likes. Doesn’t mean the story isn’t a good one or the writing is bad. It’s just not a match.

      Thanks for saying hi!

      Posted by Adrienne Giordano | December 7, 2015, 4:02 pm
  4. Evening Adrienne!

    Rejections suck. =) Even good rejections do…but yup, if you can limit the pity party, then re-read it with a clear(er) mind, it sometimes helps to pinpoint what that particular person didn’t like about your story.

    Margaritas also help. =) just sayin….

    thanks for posting with us – great to see you again!


    Posted by Carrie Spencer | December 7, 2015, 8:08 pm
  5. I LOVE “chose to resist.” Brilliant! From my standpoint it seems like you are bounding from one success to another. You must be incredibly prolific to be able to squeeze in any “rejectable” material. I’ll just congratulate you on all your successes – AND I just ordered DOG COLLAR CRIME, too. 🙂

    P.S. I’m with Carrie – margaritas make everything better!

    Posted by Becke Martin Davis | December 8, 2015, 1:31 am

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