It’s that time of year again. The RWA conference buzz is widespread and we unpublished writers are polishing our pitches.

Whether you’re attending the conference or not, having your elevator pitch ready can’t hurt. You could be at a function one night and your friend will say, “Hey, I just met Joe Smith here and he’s an editor at XYZ Publishing. Tell him about your book.” Yes, it actually happened.  Turned out the publisher in question only handled non-fiction, but you get the point.

New York Times bestselling author CJ Lyons is here to help us get our pitches ready.

Here’s CJ!

The Pitch is a writer’s best friend.

Why? Because it’s what you’ll use every time someone asks you to tell them about your book. Agents, editors, elevator folks, Great Aunt Martha.  Whoever.

 Since it’s verbal, shorter is better.  No more than 25 words total, 10-15 is best.  Short, sweet, memorable.  That’s what you’re going for—hey, I didn’t say it would be easy!

 There are several different types of pitches.  Here’s how I define them:

 Hollywood/comparison pitch: a very quick, easily memorable way to let someone who has never read your work know what it’s going to be like (note: not what it’s about, but what they can expect). 

 For my debut medical suspense novel, LIFELINES, it is: ER meets Grey’s Anatomy

 Implying that it has the edgy realism and non-stop action of ER, but also focuses on relationships like Grey’s Anatomy.

 I think elevator pitches were invented by all those ADD Hollywood types.

 It’s your down and dirty answer to: what is your book like?  It’s a comparison, not an explanation or description.

 The trick with elevator pitches is to use something universally known (like Indiana Jones) or something current and trendy.  You need to use comparisons your audience will understand, nod their heads and say, oh yeah, that sounds like something I’d read.

 Elevator or 15 second pitch: This one is more descriptive.  Start with your book’s hook line (also known as “tag line” or “log line”). 

 These are those throw away lines that scream at you from book covers.  Also look at movie posters and ads–they use hook lines a lot. 

 JAWS: don’t go into the water, ALIENS: in space no one can hear you scream, etc.

 These hook lines are useful in query letters to hook the reader and transition into your blurb. 

 For LIFELINES, the hook line is: July 1, the most dangerous day of the year.

 Notice what a hook line does that’s different than an Hollywood pitch. A hook line gets the reader to ASK questions, builds that emotional velcro by getting them involved.

 For LIFELINES, readers might ask: why is July 1 the most dangerous day of the year?  What will happen then?  Who is in danger?  What kind of danger? Etc.

 These hook lines are also great to use on websites, business cards, etc.  Often, they’ll end up on the book’s front cover.

Okay, so you have a hook line.  Sometimes that’s all you need, the conversation will evolve naturally from there.  Other times you use it simply to attract attention and move into a more detailed description.  This is where that 15-25 word story summary mentioned above comes in handy.  The hook line hooks the reader into wanting (or asking to hear) the short summary.

High Concept pitch: also quick and dirty, but here you’re going farther than a simple comparison. 

Instead of comparisons you use ICONs or universal concepts to connect your fictional world to the world of your audience.  This creates emotional velcro with your audience, leading them to be interested enough to want to know more!

To do this, you need to do two things: First, find a hook. This is the unique spin that you have put on your story. This means narrowing your search to one small part of your story. Start with your blurb, usually the hook will be apparent there.  If not, keep looking.

Basically you’re boiling your novel down to one and only one unique concept–whatever it is about your story that will create an immediate emotional connection or spark interest.

Note: often this isn’t your main plot line.  Often it’s the inciting incident or a unique detail that you expand upon in your world building.

Second, tie this unique hook to the larger world by using universal icons and feelings, implying that society at large is affected. Something that brings this hook specific to the time and place of your novel into the ordinary world of your audience.

You’re building a bridge here, connections, emotional velcro….whatever you want to call it, it needs to be so easy to grasp that anyone can feel it immediately. It’s all about the audience’s emotional response, NOT the story.

One of my favorite high concepts: ALIEN’s. It was: Jaws on a spaceship.

The unique hook = spaceship. Unique because no one has been on a spaceship, it’s something unfamiliar to the ordinary audience.

The universal icon = monster (Jaws). Everyone has had childhood fears of monsters under the bed.

We all know and understand fear, nightmares, terror. In fact, a large segment of the movie going audience (Alien’s target audience, in fact!!) pays good money to feel these emotions!

Add the two together and we have a universal fear of monsters combined with nowhere to run (trapped on a spaceship). A powerful one-two punch!!!

Feel how it evokes an immediate visceral response as well as intrigue???

The audience hearing this high concept immediately squirm in their seats, ask themselves: where can the people on the ship run? How can they fight the monster?

AND, the movie makers tied this high concept into their advertising by using a tag line of: In space, no one can hear you scream….

But note—there is no mention of character names, no long, involved psychological profiles, nothing except the bare essentials needed to pique the audience’s attention.

That’s the beauty of the high concept, it strips everything away except what you need to intrigue your audience.

It’s an emotional promise.  It does not tell the story (unlike your premise).  Instead it creates the same emotional response in your reader that your novel will evoke.

Another example. David Morrell’s recent book, SCAVENGERS used as its high concept: a scavenger hunt (unique hook) to the death (universal concept). The tag line used in advertising: Some secrets should remain buried…

Pretty obvious David’s audience are lovers of thrillers/suspense, and wouldn’t that audience immediately respond to that high concept? Be intrigued, think, hmm…I want to read that book, wondering what this master of suspense has in store for them.

Stephen King is also brilliant with high concepts. CUJO: rabid dog (hook) terrorizes town (universal fear). SALEMs LOT: vampires (unique hook–at the time) terrorize town (universal fear), CARRIE: prom queen (hook) terrorizes town….okay, anyone think King is writing sweet romance? Or has he earned his title of the King of Terror?

High concept depends who your target audience is and what kind of emotional experience you want to promise them.

For LIFELINES, my high concept is: An ER doctor saves the wrong patient.

Let’s dissect it.  ER doctor = universal icon (we can all see a doctor as soon as you read that, right?) 

Unique twist = saves the WRONG patient

Feel the sense of irony (implied irony really helps to make a high concept memorable)?  It helps you to connect to the idea, feel intrigued, want to know more.

This high concept actually only addresses one teeny, tiny plot point in the book—but it creates the emotional response that the book promises.  A world where even good doctors are powerless to save everyone, a world where saving a life can end up costing more lives, a world where no one is immune to danger…..

All that from seven little words!!!  That’s the power of a high concept.

Often, because the high concept is such a tiny taste of the entire book, as writers, we get frustrated because we’re looking at the big picture. We just spent months with these characters, we want to share them with our audience, expand on them, not boil them down to a bare skeleton.

But think of it this way–if you boil down a compelling high concept then the reader will spend hours with your characters and story as they read….after they pay their money for the book, of course, lol!

The high concept isn’t a synopsis or blurb, it’s merely a way to give your audience a sneak peak of the emotions they’ll feel while reading your book. And not every book lends itself to a high concept, so don’t get too frustrated if this doesn’t seem to fit your work!

This is hard, very, very hard!!  Be patient, keep trying, brainstorming power words, re-arranging and most importantly practicing saying them aloud.  Pitches are verbal so they need to sound smooth, natural, not awkward or stilted. 

The only way to learn how to do these is dive in and give it a try!  Go ahead and post your “perfect pitch” in the comments—I’ll comment on them, but I’d also like everyone who posts a pitch to comment on at least two others.  Explain why they worked for you or why they didn’t.

Format your pitch as: I’m pitching a (fill in the genre) titled (title).  Then dive right in!

Thanks for reading,

CJ

***

RU Crew, CJ has generously agreed to take your pitches and offer suggestions. Please, to respect CJ’s time, we ask that you choose one type of pitch (elevator, high concept, etc.) and  only pitch one book.  Thank you!

Join us on Monday when C.J. Redwine critiques a reader submitted query letter.

About CJ Lyons:

As a pediatric ER doctor, CJ Lyons has lived the life she writes about in her cutting edge suspense novels.  Her award-winning, critically acclaimed Angels of Mercy series (LIFELINES, WARNING SIGNS, and URGENT CARE) is available in stores now with the fourth, CRITICAL CONDITION, due out December, 2010.  Her newest project is as co-author of a new suspense series with Erin Brockovich.  Contact her at http://www.cjlyons.net

Hello, everyone!

Join Romance University on Friday for our first ever Pitch-O-Rama! Author CJ Lyons will join us to help commenters refine your pitch. Going to Nationals? This is your big chance to get your pitch critiqued before you go!

Mon, 5/31 – Crafting Your Career: Debut author Victoria Gray reflects on history as a muse – how a heartthrob turned infamous villain, spies in corsets, and a lovestruck senator’s daughter became the inspiration for a trio of Civil War historical romances.

Wed, 6/2 – Anatomy of the Male Mind: The great agent hunt begins long before you write your query. Join Harlow for a heart to heart on choosing the right agent for you.

Fri, 6/4 – Chaos Theory of Writing: Author CJ Lyons returns to discuss the elements of an effective pitch. C.J. will also help commenters refine their pitches. Don’t miss this great opportunity to get your pitch in tip-top shape!

All Romance University lectures are generously provided by our Visiting Professors. RU is a tuition-free zone!

Best regards,

Tracey Devlyn, Carrie Spencer, Kelsey Browning and Adrienne Giordano

PS  - Want RU’s weekly lecture schedule in a cool new email format straight to your in-box? Sign up on RU’s homepage or any of the lecture posts!

Good morning and welcome to Chaos Theory of Writing.  Our guest today is author CJ Lyons, who returns to RU after visiting last month with a grand slam of a post on building a brand.  Today, CJ tackles pinch points and turning points and why they are so important to our stories.

Take it away, CJ!

Adrienne: Would you please define a turning point and a pinch?

CJ: Plot is character in conflict, taking action, changing over time.  We start Act 1 with the character acting “normally” but we end Act 2 with the character changed—with more change promised in Act 3.

In a novel or movie,  a turning point takes the plot in a new and different direction, often through a decision and action taken by the main character.  A pinch point is often a much quieter scene, not so much action as emotional, setting up the character’s motivation for the following action.

We show WHY the character must change through the main plot’s action with its turning points.

Pinch points let you take a short breather from the main action and show HOW the character changes by letting the reader in on their inner conflicts and goals.  More emphasis is on what they NEED rather than what they WANT.

In romances (and thrillers!) these are often the “quiet” scenes—the ones that nothing seems to be happening but you can’t forget them because so much actually DID happen, emotionally.

Think emotion, think theme.  Theme is what separates Drama from Action. Theme reflects primal, universal emotions.  It’s the ultimate emotional velcro to connect your audience with your story.

Adrienne:  I love to go through my scene chart and label my turning points and pinches.  It gives me a quick, visual progression of my story.  Using three-act structure as a guide, how many turning points and pinches do you recommend within each act?

CJ: Since Act 1 is filled with all the stuff of setting up a story you don’t need pinch points there.  The same with Act 3, which is filled with the black moment, climax, and resolution.

Where pinch points come in handy, though, is that pesky Act 2–pinch points act as buttresses on a bridge, pulling Act 2 together and avoiding that sagging middle!

The three act structure the acts are laid out thusly (approximate page numbers for a 400 page book):

P.1—opener

P.40—catalyst

P.100—TP #1/End Act 1

P.200—Midpoint

P.300—TP#2/End Act 2

P.360—Black Moment/Climax

p.390–Resolution

Notice how huge Act 2 is—half the book (or more, as Act 3 is often the shortest of all the acts).  That’s 200 pages to fill—without boring the reader!!!  Yikes!

Now look at Act 2 using Pinch Points:

P.100—TP#1/End Act 1

P.150—Pinch Point #1

P.200—Midpoint

P.250—Pinch Point #2

P.300—TP#2/End Act 2

Now you only have 50 pages (in a 400 page novel) between major, high impact scenes.  Ah, 50 pages, that I can handle!

Here’s an example from the movie Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Its second act looks like:

25% Turning Point #1, Call to Action = Army Intelligence sending Indy after Ark (Outer Goal clear)

*Pinch Point #1: Indy thinks Marion is dead, confronts Balloq and threatens to kill him, even though Balloq’s men would then kill Indy.

50% Midpoint: Indy finds both the Ark’s whereabouts and that Marion is  alive (reversal) but instead of freeing her, leaves her with Nazi’s so that he can go after Ark.  Reaffirms Outer Goal (obtaining Ark), while denying Inner Goal (need for a partner).

*Pinch Point #2: Marion and Indy “reunited” along with the snakes in the Well of Souls (reversal of first pinch point and midpoint where they were separated)

75% End of Act 2: Indy saves Marion by conquering physical manifestation of  his Inner Conflict (fear of failure) Everything seems lost, the Nazis have the Ark, they have no transportation, no weapons, no plan…

Notice how the pinch points are more focused on setting up the emotional change in the character rather than action.

Yet, who could forget that scene where Indy thinks Marion is dead?  Or the snarky quips hiding his joy when he is reunited with her, surrounded by snakes and overwhelming evidence of his failure—which has doomed them both.

Spielberg and Lucas add a pinch point in the third act (which is very, very long and needed one!) when they have the scene where Marion is tending to Indy’s wounds asking if they’ll ever have a chance for the two of them to be together.

Notice that, unlike most of the action scenes, these pinch points all reflect the theme of the movie: that no man is an island, and focus on Indy’s unconscious desire, what he truly needs (rather than what he wants): a life-partner, someone to share his burdens and help prevent him from failing.

Adrienne:  How/where do you use turning points and pinches in your books?

CJ: Once you’re clued into pinch points, you’ll start to notice them in so many movies and books—they’re the subliminal glue that holds the story together.

Let’s look at my debut medical suspense novel, LIFELINES (Berkley, 2008).  Here are the major turning points and pinch points:

–Opening: July 1^st, the most dangerous day of the year, reveals the main character, Lydia Fiore’s default action on her first day of work at Pittsburgh’s Angels of Mercy Medical Center.  She’s a maverick, an excellent doctor who will do anything for her patients, even if it means breaking all the rules and going it alone.

–Call to Action: Lydia loses the wrong patient—the chief of surgery’s son….and she has no idea how he really died

–TP #1: Lydia is alone in suspecting her patient’s death to be a homicide—but she won’t give up.  In this scene she decides to trust someone else (a huge decision for her, an independent woman raised on the streets of LA) and confides in paramedic Trey Garrison (the love interest)

–Pinch Point #1: Lydia argues with Trey about a patient’s care, and not only is she right, but she earns Trey’s admiration during a tricky car-accident rescue.  Trey shows his trust in her as a doctor and proves his respect for her as a woman—both setting up the romance to follow, because there’s no way a woman like Lydia could love any man she doesn’t trust, or who doesn’t trust her

–Midpoint: Everything changes here.  Just as Lydia thinks she’s figured out what killed her patient, another patient dies and she’s the number one suspect.  The hospital board interrogates her, suspending her privileges,  the real killer is still roaming free, and everything—Lydia’s job, reputation, friends, and life—are now at risk.

–Pinch Point #2: Trey and Lydia spend the night together and the next morning together save another victim from the killer—unfortunately it gets Lydia into more trouble with the authorities

–TP#2: Fearing that more innocent lives will be targeted by the killer if Lydia stays, she decides to leave Pittsburgh, and continue the search for the killer on her own (a return to her default action), a decision that will have dire consequences

–Black Moment/Climax: The killer has targeted not only Lydia but hundreds of innocent people. Lydia realizes that going it alone won’t work, that she needs the lifelines she’s forged at Angels of Mercy. Together she, Trey and the others save the day.

–Resolution: Lydia decides to stay in Pittsburgh and her new friends welcome her to her new home.  She’s now a very different person than the loner who arrived in Pittsburgh at the start of the story.

I hope the above example shows not only how to use the 3 Act Structure’s Turning Points and Pinch Points, but also how your character can drive the plot.

Can you find the pinch points in your book?  Movies are a good place to practice.  Check your favorites and tell us about the pinch points you find.

Any questions?  If so, post them below!  One lucky commenter will win a copy of LIFELINES as well as my second book, WARNING SIGNS.

Thanks for inviting me back to Romance University!

CJ

Thank you to CJ for another fantastic post.  Okay, everyone, let’s get to work and find those pinch points!

About CJ:

As a pediatric ER doctor, CJ Lyons has lived the life she writes about in her cutting edge suspense novels.  Her first novel, LIFELINES (Berkley, March 2008), received praise as a “breathtakingly fast-paced medical thriller” from Publishers Weekly, was reviewed favorably by the Baltimore Sun and Newsday, named a Top Pick by Romantic Times Book Review Magazine, and became a National Bestseller.  LIFELINES also won a Readers’ Choice Award for Best First Novel.

Her second novel, WARNING SIGNS, was published by Berkley in January, 2009, with the third, URGENT CARE, scheduled for October 27, 2009. To learn more about CJ and her work, go to http://www.cjlyons.net

Good morning and welcome to Crafting Your Career.   Our guest today is CJ Lyons.  I first became aware of CJ through RWA’s Kiss of Death chapter.  I would see her name when she answered medical related questions that were posted by other members.  I saw her name a lot!  And it wasn’t necessarily for the medical questions.  CJ had such a presence that when her first book came out, I bought it.  How could I not? I’d never met her and yet, I felt like I knew her.  Talk about marketing!   

With that said, CJ is here to teach us how to build a brand.  Take it away, CJ.

A brand is a subliminal promise to your readers–that any book written under this author’s name will promise this type of emotional experience.

The first step to finding your brand is to examine what you’ve already written.  Ask yourself why these stories grabbed you?  Why you wanted to write them in the first place, what you were trying to say with them.

For example, even though I love to cross genres from women’s fiction to suspense to thrillers to romance, every book I write has a theme central to my life: they’re all about making a difference, trying to change the world.

For me, once I realized this fact, the tagline came easily: No One is Immune to Danger

Note that this is an emotional concept, not a promise of specifics.  I did this on purpose because I knew up front that I didn’t want to get locked into writing only medical thrillers.  But it works with medical thrillers, woman’s fiction, romantic suspense, mainstream thrillers, etc.  And it reminds the reader that I’m a physician–which is part of my platform or unique selling proposition.

If this all seems very confusing to you, there’s a book I found very helpful called Primal Branding.  Instead of talking marketing mumbo-jumbo it discusses brands as ways to tell stories, so it was very intuitive.

Also, be sure to talk to your editor and agent or your critique partners.  Who do they see as your target audience?  What label will be on your books?  Where will they be shelved in the bookstores?  What do they see you writing and selling successfully in the future?

All these questions will tell you how people who know your work see your brand, even if they don’t use those words–but they might, just ask them!

What you want to know is: what primal emotion does your writing trigger in your audience?  Laughter? Fear? Romance?

From there, you’ll know the central theme of your work—the goal is to inspire that same feeling on a subliminal level with your branding.

A brand is more than a central theme, more than a tag line, it also includes visual images that evoke the same emotion. 

When you design your site/blog use the images and colors and words that apply to your brand.   For instance, part of my brand image is that I’m a doctor, so I use medical imagery.  I also use the color red a lot–again, creating an emotional response. 

One thing that I wanted on my site was to evoke a response that it was fresh, dynamic, and different than other suspense writers’ sites.  Subconsciously this tells a casual viewer that here is a writer who’s different than others, willing to take chances, and whose books are also fresh and different. 

I checked out as many websites as I could.  Many I fell in love with–but they didn’t fit my brand and the emotional response I was aiming for.

So instead of a dark background (which 99.9% of mystery, thriller, and suspense writers have) I went with a light background.  I tried to make the site have a lot of movement, a feeling of high-energy—just like my books.  You can see the results at http://www.cjlyons.net

Other things to decide as you build your brand:

–to blog or not?

–contests? 

–appearances?

–articles?

Base your decisions on your brand as well as where your strengths lie. 

As a doctor, teaching is a natural part of my life, and teachers are noted for making a difference, so volunteering to teach workshops, give keynotes, etc, was an easy fit for my brand.  I’ve also included a lot of articles on my website—free, my way to give back to my readers and writing friends.

If this didn’t come naturally to me and fit my brand, I might have passed on some of these opportunities and spent my time and energy doing something else–like maybe blogging (which doesn’t come easy to me so I focus on guest blogging which is more like teaching).

Also, when choosing promotional items, make sure they fit your brand or reflect it by creating a similar emotional response. 

Even your cover art should reflect your brand.  Although this can be difficult since most authors don’t have a lot of input into their cover.

I was lucky–the covers Berkley did for LIFELINES,  WARNING SIGNS , and URGENT CARE reflect my brand perfectly.  They use real-life photos with hand-picked models–not stock art. They’re crisp and fresh and energetic.  Perfect for my marketing platform of “real-life doctor writes stories as real as it gets.”

I decided that any marketing I did would use these fantastic covers as much as possible.

So my business cards–have my cover art.  My bookmarks (I like them to sign if someone doesn’t want to buy a book and to give out at conferences) have the cover art and review quotes.  The covers are on every page of the website.  And the one promo item I paid for, to use for contests, charity auctions, and other give-aways, was a t-shirt featuring the cover art. 

These all fit my brand and create an impression.

I did not buy: pens, bath salts, magnets, stress balls, etc, etc, etc.  Why?  Other than pens they don’t reflect the brand (well, maybe the stress balls could <g>) and for about the same price I could get the t-shirts.  Again, you need to decide what fits your brand, not just buy something because it’s cute, cheap or some other author has one….

Instead of focusing on what everyone else is doing, keep your own brand–that subliminal, emotional statement that you want to make through your writing–firmly in mind.

Once you find your brand and start to use it, it’s amazing what will fall into place!

So, let’s have some fun.  Tell me a little about your books (not just one book—a brand should encompass your writing career) and what you want to accomplish with them.  What primal emotion are you aiming for?

I’ll try to look into my crystal ball and see if we can brainstorm some potential branding ideas for you!

One lucky commenter will receive a copy of both of my current releases: LIFELINES and WARNING SIGNS. 

Hopefully you all will be on the lookout for my next book, URGENT CARE, when it comes out October 27^th.  It’s a dark, edgy, fast-paced thriller where no one is immune to danger, so it fits my brand perfectly!!!

Thanks for reading!

Thank you, CJ!  To our readers, let’s take CJ up on her offer and ask her some branding questions.  We’d love to hear from you.

About CJ:

As a pediatric ER doctor, CJ Lyons has lived the life she writes about.  In addition to being an award-winning medical suspense author, CJ is a nationally known presenter and keynote speaker. 

Her first novel, LIFELINES (Berkley, March 2008), received praise as a “breathtakingly fast-paced medical thriller” from Publishers Weekly, was reviewed favorably by the Baltimore Sun and Newsday, named a Top Pick by Romantic Times Book Review Magazine, and became a National Bestseller.  Her second novel, WARNING SIGNS, was released January, 2009 and the third, URGENT CARE, was due out October, 2009. To learn more about CJ and her work, go to www.cjlyons.net