, to Romance University. Dustin’s one of those extraordinary examples of successful social networking. You see, I met him through Twitter. After visiting his web site and following his tweets for a while, I sent him an email asking if he’d like to blog with us. The rest is history, as they say.

Read on to see what Dustin has to say about keeping the spark alive in a busy marriage.

I am a normal guy.  I have a beautiful wife and two crazy little kids who I totally adore.  I also have a hectic schedule and the demands that come with balancing a wife, kids, a career, a mortgage, church, community service, tee ball practice, princess parties and the occasional beer or round of golf with my buddies.  My life is pretty typical for a 30-something family man these days.

So, where does passion and sexual intimacy fit into this crazy mix?

Get Your Priorities Straight & Move Passion to the Front Burner

First and foremost, passion can only thrive under these pressures when it is purposefully made a top priority and moved to the “front burner” on the crowded stove of your crazy family life.  Passion is vital to a healthy marriage, and the relationship between a husband and his wife must be the number one priority.

That’s right.  A good marriage is more important than happy children.  It trumps your career.  And your friends and your own personal hobbies don’t even come close. Those are back-burner issues.

Without a healthy marriage, these other areas of your life will suffer.  However, if you give your spouse their rightful place at the top of your to-do list, you will serve them well and create the foundation for a happy home life and an awesome marriage.  Happy wife, happy life…and only then can passion thrive.

Understand How to Fuel the Intimacy in Your Marriage

For men, intimacy in its highest form is best expressed physically.  We like to “show” our love and “do things” to be romantic and intimate.  Obviously, the peak of intimacy for us is sex, and many men unfortunately view sex only as a physical act.

Fortunately, when men learn one important lesson, they open up their marriage to a whole new level of passion and fulfillment.  That lesson is that while men are most fulfilled through actions, women primarily feel intimacy through communication.  This could include talking, listening, thoughtfulness, touch, embrace, empathy, romantic gestures, compliments, eye contact, love letters…I think you get the idea here.

The fuel for our passion is just different.  That doesn’t make masculinity shallow or femininity weak.  Men and women are inherently different, and we express and receive intimacy differently.

For married couples, sex is not merely a physical act, it’s the highest and most intense form of communication and a sacred union.  When it’s treated that way, each sexual encounter is not only much more passionate and meaningful, but the periods in between can also be filled with anticipation that fuels the flames of desire.

Make Everyday “Romance Deposits” to Keep the Flame Burning

So, now we know that our spouse must be our first priority and hopefully we have a good idea of what makes them tick sexually.  How do we keep our flames of passion from being snuffed out by our busy family lives?

The key is to set aside time everyday to just be a couple. By spending as little as 15 minutes a day to open up and talk, hold hands or maybe make out, you can make a huge difference in your relationship and rekindle your passion for one another.  And we can all watch a little less T.V. or get up a bit earlier to find this time and show our spouse they are truly number one.

Think of these encounters as the steady flow of oxygen our relationships need to keep on burning.  And, as a bonus, these short sessions will sometimes result in an awesome flare-up and an incredible night (or morning) of passion that you may have otherwise missed out on.

Get Away From It All and Create a Firestorm!

Obviously, the majority of our married lives are necessarily spent as members of our family inside of our house.  This is great, and it’s what most of us enjoy as a typical lifestyle.

However, married couples really do need to get away regularly and just enjoy each other.  This could be as simple as a relaxing date night with a great dinner and a shared bottle of wine every few weeks.  Occasionally, couples should get away overnight or for a weekend.  There’s nothing like a night spent in the Jacuzzi suite at a bed and breakfast to really fan the flames of passion in a marriage.

To really have a long-term, positive impact on a relationship, it’s hard to beat a marriage retreat weekend.  Marriage retreats come in all shapes, sizes and spiritual forms, but they all generally involve helping a couple get away from the busyness of everyday life (and kids) and focus deeply on their relationship and building their dream marriage.  When we reconnect at such a deep and soulful level, the feelings of true, impassioned intimacy become easy to grasp even when life gets busy.  Inferno alert!

Put It All Together and The Flame Will be Eternal

We are all busy, and it can be too easy to put our own needs and those of our partner on the back burner on low heat.  When we understand how critical our intimacy really is and we make the effort to bring passion to our spouse on terms that they best appreciate, we fire up the heat.  And when we set aside the time to feed our relationships with the fuel that they need, the flames of passion are free to burn bright!

And even a full day of work, soccer practice, homework and bedtime stories can’t extinguish an eternal flame!

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RU Readers, what methods do you employ to keep the spark alive with your spouse, lover, or significant other.

Please be sure to drop by on Friday when author and muse therapist D.D. Scott discusses how to recognize when your muse has taken a hike and how you can lure her (or him!) back into your life.

Dustin’s bio:

Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage with the mission of helping others achieve the extraordinary in marriage and in life. Please visit his site for more proactive and practical advice on topics ranging from Sex to Spirituality…and find him on Facebook.