Hi, I’m a romance author with my debut ready to go out sometime this year. However, the date has been pushed back because of my bad grammar. My publisher wants me to fix certain things such as “wandering body parts”.
She gave me examples such as:

I would write “She tossed her chin over her shoulder”

Would the right way be: “She jerked her head around”?

 Another example:  “Her fingers raked through the hair on his chest” when I should say it as “She ran her fingers through the hair on his chest”. I love to write but always had a weakness with grammar. I’d be happy to get the help and if there’s a site or guideline you know I can go to, or if you can answer this, let me know.

I’m also real bad with sex scenes. I try to describe a position or action and it wouldn’t make sense to some people. I wonder if there’s a site that offers pointers in writing these sex scenes.

I appreciate your time and looking forward to hearing from you.

 Sincerely,

 Nona Sebastian

 Hi, Nona,

Thanks for the question, and congratulations on your sale.  The problem of wandering body parts is a common one, so common, in fact, that my friends and I used to trade egregious examples like little boys with baseball cards.  Some particular favorites from my old file:

Her eyes flew across the room.  (Did they sprout wings when they sprung loose from the sockets?)

His feet raced down the hill.  (I always wondered which foot won that race.)

Her ass beat time with the drums.  (I don’t even want to know how her ass held the drumsticks.)

In my experience, the source of the problem is usually the verb.  By that I mean that the action being ascribed to the body part is not one that can logically occur.

Let’s take a look at your first sample sentence.

“She tossed her chin over her shoulder”

When we think of someone tossing something, the motion usually involves using the hands to propel an object away from the body.  In this case, your sentence implies that she has somehow detached her chin from her face and thrown it over her shoulder.  We know this can’t be correct.

There is a secondary meaning with this verb, one that comes up in phrases such as, “She tossed her hair over her shoulder,” or, “She tossed her head.”  In both cases, the verb is describing a motion of the head rather than a motion with the hands. The problem with using the verb in this sense with the direct object chin is that the chin is not separate from the head.  She cannot toss her chin without tossing her entire head.

The cure for this problem is careful editing and attention to the nuances of verbs.  Whenever you name a body part in a sentence, identify the verb describing any action or motion of that body part.  Can this body part actually act in this way?  If the answer is yes, then you should be fine.  But don’t be too quick to answer yes.  Open your dictionary and check it.  Compare the definition in your dictionary to definitions in online dictionaries or to other words listed in the thesaurus.  This process will often reveal subtle shades of meaning that might make you question whether you actually have the right verb.

The second step is to question whether just one part of the body performs the action or whether it’s the entire person.  For example, in our sentence,

His feet raced down the hill

his feet don’t race by themselves.  His entire body is moving.  He might be noticing how quickly his feet are moving in his haste to get to the bottom, but his feet don’t cross the finish line while his arms and legs are still in the starting gate.

My guess is that you’re experiencing a similar problem in the sex scenes.  Sex scenes are loaded with body parts doing all sorts of inventive things.  Edit carefully to make sure that the verbs describe an action which is physically possible.  For me, personally, I have no problem with the sentence,

“Her fingers raked through the hair on his chest”

because in all of my dictionaries (and I checked three), a secondary meaning for rake was to scratch, which is something that fingers can easily do. And it’s just the fingers (not the whole body) performing the act of raking. (Your editor might object to this sentence for other reasons, though, and the only way to find out what she means is to ask her directly.)

It does become easier with practice, and before long, nobody’s body parts will wander in unexpected ways.

Got a question for the editor? Email it to askaneditor at romanceuniversity dot org.

* * *

Theresa, thanks for the lesson on flying body parts.  Thank you also to Nona for sending in her letter.

Join us on Monday when author Christi Barth joins us to talk about small publishers. 

Theresa’s Bio:  

Theresa Stevens is the Publisher of STAR Guides Publishing, a nonfiction publishing company with the mission to help writers write better books. After earning degrees in creative writing and law, she worked as a literary attorney agent for a boutique firm in Indianapolis where she represented a range of fiction and nonfiction authors. After a nine-year hiatus from the publishing industry to practice law, Theresa worked as chief executive editor for a highly acclaimed small romance press, and her articles on writing and editing have appeared in numerous publications for writers. Visit her blog at http://edittorrent.blogspot.com/ where she and her co-blogger share their knowledge and hardly ever argue about punctuation.

Hello, everyone!

Join Romance University this week as we cover the gamut from refocusing on your writing, whether men fantasize about other women, connecting with readers via your website and grounding those flying body parts!

Mon 7/12 – Crafting Your Career: Find out how a PERT chart helped Sally Bayless recognize her lack of writing discipline. She’ll walk us through the drastic steps she took to refocus on her writing.

Wed, 7/14 – Anatomy of the Male Mind: RU once again goes where few others dare. Wayne Levine asks some men if they fantasize about other women while making love to their wives. A not to miss lecture!

Thu, 7/15 – Special Lecture: Jeannie Ruesch of Will Design for Chocolate returns for the final lesson on websites. This installment concentrates on multi-published authors and what they can add to a website to enhance the experience and connection with readers.

Fri, 7/16 – Chaos Theory of Writing: Join us for Ask An Editor where Theresa Stevens helps us ground our flying body parts.

All Romance University lectures are generously provided by our Visiting Professors. RU is a tuition-free zone!

Best regards,

Tracey Devlyn, Carrie Spencer, Kelsey Browning & Adrienne Giordano

PS  - Want RU’s weekly lecture schedule in a cool new email format straight to your in-box? Sign up on RU’s homepage or any of the lecture posts!

This month, we’re answering a question from the FAQ files. This one comes up once every month or two, and it goes something like this:

My agent asked me for an outline of my next book. Is this different from a synopsis?

The answer is yes and no and maybe, depending on the how the person meant it. I know, that clears it up, right? So let’s look at how these terms are commonly meant.

An outline generally is:

1. A chapter-by-chapter capsule summary of a nonfiction book.

2. Think of it like an enhanced table of contents.

3. The purpose of an outline is to summarize the information which will appear in the finished book.

4. Its format will include chapter numbers, chapter titles and/or headings, and a point-by-point breakdown of topics covered in each chapter.

5. When we evaluate outlines, we’re checking whether the topic is meaty enough to fill enough chapters for a whole book.

6. We’re also checking whether the core thesis is thoroughly developed.

7. We’re also looking at things like organization of ideas, the way the chapters build upon each other, and so on.

Many nonfiction books are sold on an outline plus some configuration of sample pages, such as an introduction and sample chapter. We evaluate the sample pages for writing quality. We evaluate the outline for content. There will be other relevant questions, too, such as whether the author has a platform and how broad that platform might be, which might be addressed in the outline, cover letter, sample chapters, or pitch, but ought to be addressed somewhere. (“Platform” is an author’s established presence as an authority on a topic. It’s the professor of economics who writes a book about money management, or the personal trainer with a blog that takes 100,000 hits a month who writes about fitness.)

A synopsis generally is:

1. A narrative summary of a work of fiction or narrative nonfiction.

2. Think of it like enhanced jacket copy which relates the beginning, middle, and end of the story.

3. You will use your synopsis to introduce your main characters, establish the themes, and describe the events in the plot.

4. The synopsis might mirror the flow of events in the plot in a chapter-by-chapter manner, but it will still be presented in narrative format.

5. A synopsis rarely uses headers and similar material, except that some formats have separate paragraphs to introduce characters. In that case, those paragraphs are sometimes headed “Characters,” and the plot summary is headed “Plot.” But these formats are less common than ordinary narrative formats.

6. When we evaluate a synopsis, we’re checking that the plot is interesting and coherent.

7. We’re also checking whether the characters are interesting, but that might be easier to determine from sample pages. The synopsis will at least give us a starting point, though.

8. We might also be checking for other things like writing quality and tone, but the sample pages usually will be more useful for that purpose.

Many novels, memoirs, and other narrative works are sold on a synopsis plus some configuration of sample pages (generally the first seventy-five to one hundred pages or thereabouts). The purpose of a synopsis is to give a flavor of the tone and characters, the complete but condensed plot, and perhaps some thematic or other elements.

The kicker is that many people use these terms interchangeably. Or maybe they’re so used to asking for one that they use that one term without realizing they want the other document. Or maybe they’ll assume you know which format they actually want. In other words, even though there’s a technical difference between an outline and a synopsis, there’s a bit of looseness in the way we use the terms.

So what’s a writer to do?

If this is someone you’ve got an established relationship with, just ask them which they would prefer. “Do you want a chapter-by-chapter outline or a narrative synopsis?” See how easy that is?

If this is an over-the-transom submission and asking might be awkward, you can either check their submission guidelines for clarification, or you can assume that a narrative work takes a narrative synopsis. That assumption is probably safe, but there may be rare cases when it’s not. So if you’re uncomfortable with this assumption and the submission guidelines are silent, you might have to find a graceful way to ask for clarification. “Sorry to trouble you. I checked your guidelines and couldn’t find the answer. Do you want a narrative synopsis or a chapter outline?”

So now that we know the difference between a synopsis and an outline, do you have any questions about formats?

Theresa

Got a question for the editor? Email it to askaneditor at romanceuniversity dot org.

* * *

Theresa, thanks for the clarification about these two important writing tools!

Join us on Monday when writer and Facebook guru Haley Hughes provides an in-depth look at how writers can make FB work for them.

Theresa’s Bio:  

Theresa Stevens is the Publisher of STAR Guides Publishing, a nonfiction publishing company with the mission to help writers write better books. After earning degrees in creative writing and law, she worked as a literary attorney agent for a boutique firm in Indianapolis where she represented a range of fiction and nonfiction authors. After a nine-year hiatus from the publishing industry to practice law, Theresa worked as chief executive editor for a highly acclaimed small romance press, and her articles on writing and editing have appeared in numerous publications for writers. Visit her blog at http://edittorrent.blogspot.com/ where she and her co-blogger share their knowledge and hardly ever argue about punctuation.

Hello, everyone!

Check out this week’s lecture schedule!!

Mon 6/14 – Crafting Your Career: Fung Shui expert Bella Andre teaches us how create a positive workspace.

Wed, 6/16 – Anatomy of the Male Mind: Extra Credit: John Warwick Arden returns for his final discussion on Am I Capable of Love?

Thurs, 6/17 – Special Lecture: Jeannie Ruesch of Will Design for Chocolate returns to discuss what to include on your web site or blog when you’re newly pubbed.

Fri, 6/18 – Chaos Theory of Writing: Publisher Theresa Stevens with STAR Guides Publishing talks about the difference between an outline and a synopsis.

All Romance University lectures are generously provided by our Visiting Professors. RU is a tuition-free zone!

Best regards,

Kelsey Browning, Adrienne Giordano, Tracey Devlyn & Carrie Spencer

PS  - Want RU’s weekly lecture schedule in a cool new email format straight to your in-box? Sign up on RU’s homepage or any of the lecture posts!

Dear Theresa:

This might not be earth shattering enough to be posted – BUT – I’d really appreciate an answer on this one – as this type of scene is in two different spots in my current WIP. Basically, it’s a one-sided conversation being heard by the POV character outside of the scene (does that make sense?). What I’d like to know is – do I need to structure this differently because there’s one side the reader can’t hear? I kind of clumped the sentences together because I thought it reads better this way – but is this right? Should there be the dreaded … in between those sentences?

“Mom it’s for you, it’s Aunt Kelly.”

“Hey,” Jake heard Peyton say. “No, no better, I’m afraid. They have no idea. Good news? Yeah. I could use some.”

He heard silence for a few seconds and then Peyton literally sputtered. “Tell me you didn’t. To Mr. Ginger ale! No, seriously, you didn’t, did you? Why?” That last word came out as a soft wail. “I know. I know. It was my idea. It was a brilliantly funny idea and if I wanted to go out with him I would have-” Silence again, so Jake waited quietly, unwilling to miss any of this. Clearly, they were talking about him. She couldn’t have two Mr. Ginger ales in her life.  “What do you mean, why do I sound mad? Why wouldn’t I be mad?”

“Don’t even–” Kelly must have cut her off again because there was momentary silence. “No, I did not tell you that. You–no, I said – Okay, I said he was better looking than I remembered. You said he was a hunk. I did not – aww, man, he’s going to think-” Silence again and then, “Oh, yes he will, he’s–” she either turned away from the family room or wandered deeper into the kitchen and lowered her voice, because Jake couldn’t hear what she was saying.

“Quarter! You said a bad word,” Paige called out.

Thankfully, Jake heard her again when she said, “Just a second,” to Kelly and, “I thought you guys were doing your homework,” to the kids.

“We are. You still owe a quarter, Mom,” Paige insisted.

“You do know that what I said is the actual name of an animal, don’t you?”

“Um, not when you end it with ‘hole’, Mom. Sorry.” Jake laughed out loud at Spencer’s logical interference.

“Oh, for cripes sake. Yeah, Kel, just a minute.” Jake heard rustling sounds and then a clink. Apparently, Peyton paid the piper in the form of a quarter in the mason jar and if he didn’t miss his guess, he was the asshole. Great.

Okay. I can see why this is giving you some trouble. First, let me point out that Jake is doing nothing. The scene feels static because it is static — he’s silent, unengaged, and unseen, a ghost in the corner. Give him something to do. And remember the importance of relevant action. Don’t just have him watering flowers as he’s listening. Give him a goal, and put that goal into conflict with the overheard conversation. Maybe he needs to get something out of the room with the phone, and he needs to do it without being noticed. (In that case, his need for stealth takes on an extra dimension of dramatic purpose.) Maybe he needs to get out of the house — some emergency elsewhere — and the phone call is causing him to delay. (In that case, the dramatic tension would come from the opposition between the need to stay and the need to leave.)

Do you see how that works? The phone call doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Even if it’s not currently written that way, other plot elements are occurring around the phone call. Bring them in and let them put some dramatic tension into the scene.

My next tip is for the call to be tightened. There’s a lot of extra chatter in this scene snippet, and it weighs down the pacing. Now, before you go cutting to the bone, I want to point out that in its current state, this dialogue feels and reads very much like a real phone call. Natural social conversation is rarely direct and concise. People interrupt each other and themselves. Sentences wander. Ideas are dropped only to re-emerge ten minutes later. You’ve absolutely caught that reality in your scene here.

But this isn’t real life. It’s a fictional representation of how a real life might be, and to that end, we must sometimes sacrifice a bit of reality to keep the pacing tight and clean. For example, you could cut almost all of the interchange with the kids — which, near as I can tell, has little dramatic relevance. I think you may have included it for flavor, for a bit of liveliness and fun and character interaction. A bit of flavor is a good thing, but keep it neat.

You could pare that part of the exchange to something like:

“Quarter! You said a bad word,” Paige called out.

“I thought you guys were doing your homework,” She must have turned back around to talk to the kids, because Jake could hear her clearly again. He could also hear some rustling and then a clink. Apparently, Peyton paid the piper in the form of a quarter in the mason jar and if he didn’t miss his guess, he was the asshole. Great.

So there you have it, the two secrets to managing an overheard phone call scene:

1. Let the call unfold in the midst of another scene so that more is happening than just standing and listening.

2. Keep it tight.

Where else can this exchange be tightened in a way that doesn’t interfere with tone?

Theresa

* * *

Thanks, Theresa and Murphy!

All right, RU Readers, Theresa’s issued a challenge? Any thoughts on where else the exchange can be tightened? Be sure to post your comments below.

Join us again on Monday when agent Scott Eagan discusses the benefits of category romance authors having agent representation.

Theresa’s bio:

After earning degrees in creative writing and law, Theresa Stevens worked as a literary attorney agent for a boutique firm based in Indianapolis where she represented a range of fiction and nonfiction authors. The lure of the courtroom led to a nine-year hiatus from the publishing industry, but now Theresa is back as Managing Editor for Red Sage Publishing, a highly acclaimed small press. Her articles on writing and editing have appeared in numerous publications for writers. Visit her blog at http://edittorrent.blogspot.com/ where she and her co-blogger share their knowledge and hardly ever argue about punctuation.

Hello, everyone!

Romance University celebrates its first anniversary with an entire week of fun and information! Put on your party hat and bring your tooting horn – come celebrate with us and our great line-up!

Mon, 5/17 – Crafting Your Career: Author L.A. Banks and Kimani Press’ Executive Editor Glenda Howard dig deep into the multi-cultural romance sub-genre. Stop by to get their take on makes a hot romance in this growing sub-genre.

Tues, 5/18 – Happy Anniversary Romance University!!! Carrie Spencer puts Kelsey Browning, Adrienne Giordano and Tracey Devlyn in the hot seat during this revealing look at the brains behind Romance University as they celebrate their first anniversary.

Wed, 5/19 – Anatomy of the Male Mind: Bestselling author Brenda Novak takes a look at how an author can separate his/her public and private life.

Thurs, 5/20 –  Special Feature: Jeannie Ruesch of Will Design for Chocolate kicks off a series of posts on building a web presence and will offer advice on what unpubbed writers need, why they need it and what to focus on.

Fri, 5/21 – Chaos Theory of Writing: Red Sage Managing Editor Theresa Stevens responds to a reader’s call for help about how to effectively setup an eavesdropping scene. Don’t miss the answer!

All Romance University lectures are generously provided by our Visiting Professors. RU is a tuition-free zone!

Best regards,

Kelsey Browning, Adrienne Giordano, Tracey Devlyn and Carrie Spencer

PS  - Want RU’s weekly lecture schedule in a cool new email format straight to your in-box? Sign up on RU’s homepage or any of the lecture posts!

This month we’re starting a new feature in the “Ask An Editor” column at Romance University. We’ll continue to answer your questions as they come in. (The address for questions is askaneditor@romanceuniversity.org .)

Present Tense

Definition: Present tense verbs indicate that action is taking place right now.

Example: The baby sleeps through the night.

We’re not talking about last night or tomorrow night. We’re talking about this night right now.

Literary Present: Here’s where things get interesting. Literary convention says that the “now” of the story is related with past tense verbs. In other words,

In life: Present time = present tense

In books: Present time = past tense

So how do fiction writers use the present tense? When is it appropriate? (We’re not talking about fiction that experiments with tense or deconstructs the convention. We’re talking about typical books.) You can safely use present tense in dialogue. You can also use it in italicized interior monologue, but with a light touch, please. You can, with some clever phrasing and very careful writing, use it in non-italicized interior monologue, but it’s not an easy thing to pull off. Use extreme caution.

Common error: Using a present tense contraction. “That’s when she realized the baby was sleeping.” (That’s = That is)

Past Tense

Definition: Past tense verbs indicate that the action took place in the past.

Example: The baby slept through the night.

Literary Past: As we’ve already mentioned, in fiction, the past is the present. The vast bulk of your story should be written in the simple past tense. Any time you stray from the simple past tense, stop and ask why. Why are you shifting out of the scene moment? Staying in scene is a good thing. Try to do it. J

Common Error: Sticking to the simple past when the time sequencing doesn’t permit it. “The baby slept through tomorrow night.” The simple past should be your default, but it’s not foolproof.

Future Tense

Definition: Future tense verbs indicate something that will happen in the future.

Example: The baby will sleep through the night.

Literary future: If the past is the present, then when does the future arrive? That sounds like a philosophy riddle. Rather than meditating on this one, let’s just remember the general rule that the simple future tense is safe to use in dialogue when the characters are discussing things which might happen in future scenes. As with the present tense, infrequent uses of the future tense in italicized interior monologue will be okay, too. Most other uses will sound awkward.

As with all general rules, there are exceptions. But please do flag any outside-the-quotation-marks usages of future tense and scrutinize them carefully.

Common error: Using the future tense in action sentences to impart a casual or conversational feel. “Marie poured a large cup of coffee before heading into her morning meeting. She’ll feel a lot better if the baby will sleep through the night.” (Second sentence is future tense. See how awkward that is?)

Present Perfect Tense

Now comes the tricky part. Perfect tenses can give even the best writers a migraine.

Definition: The present perfect tense connects the present and the past, but sometimes those connections are indefinite or intangible.

Example: The baby has slept through the night for some time now. (It happened on past nights. It happens on the current night. We connect those past nights with the present night in a single verb, “has slept.”)

We’re not going to worry about defining the three specific usages of the present perfect tense, though, because–

Literary Present Perfect: Almost never occurs outside of dialogue. Even interior monologue, whether italicized or non-italicized, will almost always be less awkward in past perfect than in present perfect.

Why is this? Well, if you think the “future of the past” question sounded like an unsolveable zen koan, try this one. If the literary present is expressed in past tense, and if you want a verb tense to connect that literary past tense to the past of that literary past, how can you do that in present terms? Is it even possible to connect the past to the past in the present?

Confused? You should be. It’s awkward and non-intuitive to try to shoehorn this tense into a typical story. So if you can’t wrap your mind around all this riddle stuff, just remember the general rule: In fiction, the present progressive almost never occurs outside of dialogue. Forget about the present perfect and stick with progressive conjugations for ongoing actions (“has been sleeping”) or the past perfect for completed action (“had slept”).

Common error: Using this tense in a present participial phrase. “Mary often found herself wondering if her baby has slept through the night.” I think the -ing participle throws people off tense sometimes.

Past Perfect Tense

Definition: The past perfect tense indicates an action completed in the past before some other past action or event. (The past of the past is the past perfect.)

Example: The baby had slept through the night.

Literary Past Perfect: Indicates actions or events that precede the current scene. The “now” of the story is told in past tense. Anything that happens before that “now” story moment will generally need the past perfect tense — the dreaded had.

Have you been warned not tooveruse the word had? This might mean that you’re slipping out of the scene “now” and using too many past perfect moments. Try to stay in scene. It’s a good thing. J

Common error: Using past perfect to describe sequential events in the current scene. “Mary had heard the baby crying and she got out of bed.” Hearing comes before getting up, but you’re in linear scene time, so no past perfect usage is necessary.

Future Perfect Tense

Definition: The future perfect tense indicates a future action or event that will be completed before some other future action or event.

Example: By the time he’s in kindergarten, the baby will have slept through the night. (The baby has not yet slept through the night. In the future, the baby will be in kindergarten. Before that future scholastic event, another future event — sleeping through the night — will be a done deal.) (Yes, the adverbial clause contains a present tense verb that snuck in via a conjuction. Good on you for spotting it!)

Literary Future Perfect: Follows basically the same rules as defined above. Does this surprise you? Think of it this way. The future happens after the past and after the present. Doesn’t matter if we’re talking about the real past or the literary “now.”

Common error: Substituting the future tense for the future perfect. “By the time he was in kindergarten, the baby will sleep through the night.”

Congratulations to all of you who have managed to read this far. Ask your questions in the comments, and everyone who comments will be entered in a drawing to win a download of Nathalie Gray’s steampunk novel, “Full Steam Ahead,” where the past and the present mingle freely in that way familiar to fans of the subgenre.

* * *

A huge thanks to Theresa for providing such an amazing resource on verb tense! This lecture is going in my keeper file.

Join us on Monday when Tracey chats with author Marjorie Liu about her new romance-themed video game.

Theresa’s Bio:

After earning degrees in creative writing and law, Theresa Stevens worked as a literary attorney agent for a boutique firm based in Indianapolis where she represented a range of fiction and nonfiction authors. The lure of the courtroom led to a nine-year hiatus from the publishing industry, but now Theresa is back as Managing Editor for Red Sage Publishing, a highly acclaimed small press. Her articles on writing and editing have appeared in numerous publications for writers. Visit her blog at http://edittorrent.blogspot.com/ where she and her co-blogger share their knowledge and hardly ever argue about punctuation.

Hello, everyone!

In case you missed our announcement on April 8, please help us welcome our newest addition to the Romance University faculty: Carrie Spencer! Carrie has been a regular reader and participant at RU since the early days. With her knowledge of our mission, her technical background and outgoing personality, Carrie was a perfect match for our faculty needs.

Mon, 4/12 – Crafting Your Career: Border’s book buyer Sue Grimshaw tells us how all those lovely books get onto the shelves.

Wed, 4/14 – Anatomy of the Male Mind: Wayne Levine’s back to reveal how a ropes course can teach guys to become better men. Don’t miss this insightful conversation.

Fri, 4/16 – Chaos Theory of Writing: Managing Editor Theresa Stevens starts a new lecture series about writing effective sentences. She’ll begin with the five major verb tenses and why traditional grammar instruction on tenses doesn’t do fiction writers much good. Wanna talk to a grammar guru? Be sure to stop by!

Remember, 2010 is the Year of the Sub-genre at Romance University. Each month, we will poke, prod, and beg publishing professionals close to the sub-genre to give us the latest information. Is it hot? Is it not? On April 2, we highlighted erotic romance with author Eden Bradley. Be sure to check it out!

All Romance University lectures are generously provided by our Visiting Professors. RU is a tuition-free zone!

Best regards,

Tracey Devlyn, Kelsey Browning & Adrienne Giordano

PS  - Want RU’s weekly lecture schedule in a cool new email format straight to your in-box? Sign up on RU’s homepage or any of the lecture posts!

This month, for something different, we’re going to answer a trio of short questions on the topic of submissions. Be sure to read below to find out how you can win a download of Partners by Cricket Starr, a special treat from Red Sage Presents.

Okay, so you’ve written the next New York Time’s Best Seller! Great…right? How in the devil do you break down a mammoth 102,000 word count of complicated characters and complex plot lines into a teeny-tiny, member of the Lollipop Guild sized 150 word blurb that is guaranteed to make your book so enticing that the reader uses her Victoria’s Secret emergency panty fund to purchase your book instead of that water bra thing? Thanks for your wisdom.

~Pauline Allan

~~~~

Great question! Truly, you don’t have to write this particular blurb. Most publishers have in-house marketing people to do that for you. Remember, your first sale — the first one you hope to make with your submission — is to the editor, not to the bra-buying public. So your 150 words should be geared toward the needs of that first editorial reader.

How do you hook this editorial reader? You start by showing her that the book suits her editorial line, and then you show the one or two ways that your book will stand out from the pack. It’s the old “same but different” mindset. We need to see both the sameness (the suitability for the line and the breadth of the book’s appeal) and the differences (why your book is special). Save the complexity for the synopsis, but even there, please keep in mind that you don’t get to the bra-buyers unless you win over the overworked, eyestrained editor.

~~~~

I’ve been pitching my book to agents as science fiction, but after reading some of your posts I’m thinking that perhaps paranormal romance would be a better fit. Can you suggest a resource where I could find agents that are interested in that particular sub-genre? I’m familiar with QueryTracker and AgentQuery, but their searches don’t include sub-genres.

Thank you,

S. King

I’m not an agent, but in my experience, if an agent represents one kind of romance, she will probably represent the other kinds, too. This isn’t iron-clad, but more like a general tendency. If an agent intends to build relationships at romance houses, there’s little sense in doing that and then excluding entire groups of stories from consideration.

But there will always be personal tastes involved, such as an agent who gets squeamish over blood (vampires!) or one who loves historicals to the exclusion of all other romance types. The best way to suss out these kinds of personal preferences is to follow the authors an agent represents. Does she rep 40 romance authors, and not a single bloodsucker among them? That might be a clue. Do all of her authors write dialogue-heavy, super-pacey stories? That might be another clue.

By the way, you can mention this sort of thing in your query. “I noticed you represent Annie Author and Brenda Bestseller. Although my story is a different subgenre, its fast pace and tight focus are similar to books written by them.”

~~~~

What are the prospects for someone who’s not an established writer and is trying to sell a futuristic romance?  And if you have the time, please tell us what you think separates a futuristic romance from a science fiction story that has a significant amount of romance in it.  Or is there a difference?

Sincerely,

Mary Anne Landers

I’ve been keeping a close eye on this corner of the market for the past year or two. There is a core group of loyal science fiction romance readers, and there is the potential that these books will break through to a broader romance readership. (Also, just as a personal thing, I really enjoy these books, especially the world-building and the philosophical questions.) Will it happen? Eh. Maybe. Time will tell. I hope it will, though, because scifi romance submissions have been looking fresh and interesting lately. They deserve a broader readership.

How hard is it for a new writer to break in? This might sound like a non-answer, but the difficulty will be relative to how good the book is and how many slots are available. At my house, for example, we publish a few erotic scifi romance stories every year. For every one we publish, we probably get 30 or 40 submitted. (There are relatively few writers submitting these, which increases your odds.) You have no way of controlling the competition, but you can control the quality of your submission. Make the story as dynamic and engaging and thought-provoking as you can, and then make each sentence as well-written as you can.

When is it scifi romance, and when is it scifi with romantic elements? This question is probably harder to answer for scifi/romance than for other hybrids, if only because scifi frequently examines social organization, and the formation of romantic units and families is one way we organize societies. That said, if the core story is about the formation of a romantic attachment, then it’s romance. If the story ends when the lovers unite in some form of HEA-bond, then it’s romance. But if that bond is never achieved, or if it’s achievement is but one step in the middle of the plot, then you’re probably dealing with scifi with romantic elements.

On the topic of science fiction romance, I have a question for RU’s readers. The conventional wisdom is that science fiction is mainly appealing to teens and young adults who are awakening to the kinds of big questions raised in these stories. After about the age of 25, readership (it is claimed) drops off to a core, loyal audience, and the youthful scifi reader moves on to other story types. Has this been your experience? Did you read more science fiction in high school or college than you do at present? Why do you think that’s so?

Answer the question in the comments, and you’ll be entered to win a download of Partners by Cricket Starr, an erotic science fiction novella from Red Sage Presents. I happen to think this story is a great representative of the genre. Read it and see if you agree with me!

* * *

A huge thanks to Theresa, Pauline, S. King and Mary Anne!!

Join us on Monday for our Romantic Suspense sub-genre segment with multi-published author Roxanne St. Claire and literary agent Jill Marsal. Find out what’s hot and what’s not!

Theresa’s Bio:

After earning degrees in creative writing and law, Theresa Stevens worked as a literary attorney agent for a boutique firm based in Indianapolis where she represented a range of fiction and nonfiction authors. The lure of the courtroom led to a nine-year hiatus from the publishing industry, but now Theresa is back as Managing Editor for Red Sage Publishing, a highly acclaimed small press. Her articles on writing and editing have appeared in numerous publications for writers. Visit her blog at http://edittorrent.blogspot.com/ where she and her co-blogger share their knowledge and hardly ever argue about punctuation.

Good evening, everyone! Here’s next week’s weekly lecture schedule. Another great mix of topics.

Mon, 3/15 – Crafting Your Career:  Romance B(u)y the Book’s Michelle Buonfiglio talks about creating a dynamite press kit.

Wed, 3/17 – Anatomy of the Male Mind:  Our man panel returns with their thoughts on the man purse.

Fri, 3/19 – Chaos Theory of Writing: Ask an Editor.  Theresa Stevens, Managing Editor, Red Sage Publishing, addresses reader questions regarding submissions.

Remember, 2010 is the Year of the Sub-genre at Romance University. Each month, we will poke, prod, and beg publishing professionals close to the sub-genre to give us the latest information. Is it hot? Is it not? On March 22, we’re highlighting romantic suspense with author Roxanne St. Claire and literary agent Jill Marsal.

And don’t miss our on-going labs with Managing Editor Theresa Stevens and Author C.J. Redwine!

All Romance University lectures are generously provided by our Visiting Professors. RU is a tuition-free zone!

Best regards,

Adrienne Giordano, Kelsey Browning and Tracey Devlyn

PS–Want RU’s weekly lecture schedule in a cool new email format straight to your in-box? Sign up on RU’s homepage or any of the lecture posts!