Rhino skin. We’ve all been told we need it, we’ve all tried to grow a layer of it over our fragile egos. Nicole Flockton shares with us some ideas on how to toughen your own.
How do you build that thick skin? That thick layer of skin that will insulate you from the criticisms, rejection, bad reviews you received when you send your precious words out into the big wide world.
My thoughts, there’s no easy way to do it, it doesn’t happen overnight. And, really, every person is completely different in the way they approach and deal with these things.
What I do think happens, is that over time you actually find out what works for you, and eventually you learn to turn the other cheek. But it is a process that only you, as an individual, can work out.
For me I’ve always tried to disengage myself from my work. Break that emotional attachment. It’s very hard to do but to keep your sanity, you have to cut those ties.
I remember my first rejection. It came about seven months after I moved from Perth, Australia to Houston, Texas. My husband was away on business and I was all alone. I tried to be positive and say well it wasn’t a form rejection they did tell me what didn’t work. But to be truthful it did hurt and for a while I didn’t write, even though I had a request for a full manuscript from another publisher.
Now that I’m published I’m open to reviews. To people telling me I totally suck and they want a refund. OUCH! But you know what? It’s going to happen. I can’t control it. I have to live with it. I know not everyone will love my book but there will be people who will soak up every word I write.
I like to think that my days of ballroom dancing may have built up my ability to take the criticisms I received from editors and readers on the chin. When I was dancing my feet off to get a good mark on my dancing medals, I had no idea what the judges thought of my dancing. When I did get my score-sheets and saw the judges comments, I learned that what I thought was perfect, in someone else’s eyes, not so much. Or it could’ve been the constant teasing from my big brother – who is now one of my biggest cheerleaders – that gave me a little bit of a thicker skin. Only I didn’t know it at the time.
But some days, even if you have the thickest skin possible, those words will hurt. The best thing to do is take the hurt, accept it and then move on. But don’t ever doubt your abilities. Always believe in yourself.
Do you have a routine you go through if you receive a rejection or bad review?
Join us on Wednesday for Joanna Penn from The Creative Penn.
He helps save lives, now he wants to save hers.
Dawn Granger has loved and lost and it’s a road she’s not prepared to travel again, that is until her past turns up and has her questioning her resolve.
Andrew Holmes has sailed the globe numerous times, when he almost loses his life, he decides he needs to give something back so he returns home and trains as a paramedic. When he runs into his former sweetheart he is surprised to find an attraction he thought dead come to life. When he sees the sadness in Dawn he knows he will do anything to make her smile again.
Dawn tries to resist Andrew but their past pulls at her in ways she thought long dead. Can she trust a man who’s run out on her once before? Can she risk putting her heart on the line again? Or will it all be taken from her again.
Bio: On her very first school report her teacher said ‘Nicole likes to tell her own stories’.
It wasn’t until after the birth of her daughter and after having fun on the community board of eharlequin.com that she finally decided to take the plunge and write a book.
The stories she writes are contemporary romances with either a medical setting or in the boardrooms of high powered business. Nicole enjoys taking two characters and creating unique situations for them.
- Weekly Lecture Schedule, June 17 – 21, 2013
- What Does It Take to be a Writer? with Mary Jo Burke
- Weekly Lecture Schedule for Sept 6-10, 2010: Kelly Stone, Adrienne Giordano and C.J. Redwine
- Ten Myths About Editors – Theresa Stevens
- If at First, You Don’t Succeed…by Anna Sugden